Jyn thanked her lucky stars that she and Joreth - her new husband - weren't required to stay and mingle with the guests, who mostly consisted of higher-ups who didn't know her and didn't care about her and only showed up because of the prestigious nature of the event.
Her own father wasn't even there to give his only child away at her wedding. Krennic had told her that the nature of his work was too important to take time away from. And her mother, lost in a tragic accident when she was a child, would never know her daughter as an adult, never be there for her to talk to and confide in, and it was -
A lot. Jyn only had herself to depend upon, to trust, because she had come to learn that the world was full of people who were only out for themselves. That didn't mean that she didn't notice the looks leveled their way as they made their way through the crowd - the leering glances from some of the men, the daggers in the gaze of Grendreef's wife, which brought up all sorts of questions that would probably remain unasked, the smug pride in Krennic's.
She was sure that if he hadn't found a suitable potential match, he would have suggested marrying her himself in order to keep a close watch on her, and although she was wary of Joreth, she couldn't help feeling a sense of relief that that had not come to pass.
But that relief was short-lived as they made their way to their new quarters - nicely furnished, as befitting a woman of her status, spacious, but not so spacious as to allow for any real privacy, and Jyn just didn't have the strength to keep her back straight and her head held high any longer, and as Joreth turned away from her, she let her shoulders slump and her expression slip into something more closely resembling her actual emotions - tentative, cautious, scared, but didn't make a move otherwise.
How was she supposed to behave? Jyn knew what was expected of her - of them - but it didnt seem right to just do it. She didn't know what he was feeling, if he was just as lost as her, if this was ... all too much.
She almost didn't recognize her voice as she murmured, "At least we can breathe now."
Can we? Cassian turned to her—Jyn? Mrs Sward? oh skies—and managed a slight smile. At the same time, he saw her drop her mask, show him her worry and fear, and demonstrated his appreciation for that by showing her his own. Trying, cautiously, for a joke: "Was that as strange for you as it was for me?"
Metaphorically speaking, anyway. Jyn wondered if it would always feel like she was tiptoeing around her own life, like she would never truly be able to just be herself again. At least she could take some solace in the fact that when he turned to face her ... he appeared as uncertain of it all as she felt. Maybe that was as good a starting point as she was going to get.
Jyn offered a hesitant, small smile in return, and shrugged her shoulders. "Just another day, really", she replied, grateful for the seemingly safe icebreaker. "Wonder what tomorrow will bring."
She glanced down at her dress, her eyes narrowing slightly. This wasn't her. "This is all a little much to take in."
Followed her eyes down to her dress, then down to his own uniform. Feeling abruptly sick of it. Very conscious of not wanting to suggest too much undressing, he undid his jacket (with all its lying insignia) and tossed it onto the couch, leaving him in his shirtsleeves.
He suddenly turned back to her with a new look in his eyes. "Are you hungry? We could order in. Or I know a place walking distance from here that does good Melahnese. Or there's always the Uscru market. Half the food stalls won't give us indigestion."
Most people went on a date before getting married, but they'd work with what they got.
It was reassuring to feel that she wasn't alone in what she was feeling - that this was very sudden, that it was ridiculously unfair, that she wished that it hadn't been forced. Not that they ever would have crossed paths otherwise, but stars, it would have been nice for things to happen organically rather than just being pushed together and expected to know what they were supposed to do next.
Jyn wanted to ask Joreth just why he had agreed to marrying someone he didn't even know, but on the other hand, she wasn't sure if she wanted to know his answer.
Her shoulders tensed as she watched him divest himself of his jacket, her expression a little more closed again, a little more wary. But he didn't ask anything that she had anticipated - he asked instead if she was hungry. And the truth was, she was. It had been a long day already, and the last time she had eaten, or even had enough of an appetite to, had been hours before.
"I ... could eat", she replied, nodding slightly. "We could change, take a walk, see where it takes us?"
She didn't want to be here, knowing what was expected of them. She just wanted a little time before the time came. Maybe a chance to start getting to know each other, maybe to decompress.
He nodded again, his own shoulders visibly a bit looser. "You can have the bedroom, I'll just grab a few things first to change into out here. All right?"
…Truth be told: he was very well trained. Not just in the usual forms of espionage but… also in seduction.
Which meant he also had a deft grasp of how not to seduce. How to avoid and deescalate and keep things solidly friendly. And that's where he intended to stay, in this. Only they needed to know how they spent their wedding night. Instinct told him Jyn would do fine, if need be, lying to or deflecting anyone else whose business it wasn't.
"Alright - ", Jyn agreed easily, gesturing toward the archway and what lied beneath, grateful that she wouldn't have to worry about it - about what she knew was to come - just quite yet. Lunch, though, she could do lunch.
She had a scant bit of experience, mostly relegated to kisses stolen in hidden corners. Her Uncle had the bad habit of making those she showed interest in disappear - sent to far off bases, never to be heard from again. It disturbed her, that he was so interested in her 'well-being', but who could she tell? Her father, too, worked off-world, and she was almost certain that her communication with him was monitored.
...
She was almost certain that this apartment, too, would be monitored. And how could she possibly bring that to her new husband's attention, that it was probably best to at least go through the motions, lest they attract the wrong kind of attention. Maybe that was a problem for a later time, though.
He gave her a realer smile, and ducked into the bedroom.
Their belongings had been moved in for them. Yet another opportunity for the Empire to search and monitor everything. Not a problem: the few Alliance items he'd brought with him were safe with Kaytoo in their shuttle, hidden out in the city. (…Kay knew not to expect him there for a while.)
Still, it wasn't hard to find his non-uniform trousers, traveling boots, and a less formal shirt and jacket. He'd fold the uniform items at perfect regulation angles out in the living room and quickly change. Never took him more than minutes.
It occurred to him that women's fashions were ridiculous and sometimes required assistance in getting on or off… but decided to wait to be asked rather than offer.
He gave a cursory look at himself in the unavoidable mirror. He hated them and would have preferred not to have one, but tools of the trade, and not making waves. It still seemed like such a bad joke: with his hair at regulation crop, and clean-shaven, how much younger he looked.
Sitting was difficult in a dress pulled so tight it was already constricting her breath. All she could do was stand and wait her turn. She would blissfully relish getting the infernal thing off - and never having to wear it again.
She knew very well that their things had been gone through, but she was sure that on her end, at least, nothing was suspicious enough to have been confiscated, although she wouldn't know for sure until she had the chance to take stock of it all. It wouldn't surprise her at all to note missing items - or to find items that she knew were not hers.
Jyn was beginning to wonder if she would ever escape from Krennic's clutches.
She sighed and shook her head, silently chastising herself for thinking of him at a time like this. Not that it was entirely happy occasion, but she wanted to focus on the task at hand - lunch, talking, getting a feel for each other rather than the Director and his obvious machinations.
If Joreth was a good man, he didn't deserve her attention pulled elsewhere.
Jyn looked up as Joreth re-entered the room, and stood, nodding her understanding. It didn't take long to make it into the bedroom, taking a quick look around at everything for the first time. It was nice, of course, and looked comfortable, but didn't feel like it was hers.
She stared at herself in the same full-length mirror, and hardly recognized the person that she saw. Jyn still looked uncertain, still looked nervous, still looked scared, much, much younger than her true age.
Jyn pulled her hair out of the elegant chignon it had been put up into it, and the mass of waves fell down and around her shoulders. She kicked her painful, pinching shoes off with a relieved groan, stretching her toes and luxuriating in the soft carpet beneath her feet.
But when it came to undressing, no matter how hard she tried, she could not reach the buttons aligned with the length of her spine. Someone, somewhere wouldn't be pleased if she cut herself out of the dress, so after a few long moments, she had to swallow her pride as she stepped close to the bedroom door.
"I'll be right there." He finished pulling on his coat and boots—wanting to be fully dressed, himself. Then, walking deliberately loudly, he opened the door. He made sure she saw him there before coming into the room.
A glance at the dress made obvious what was needed. He came to stand behind her.
Another questioning, confirming glance into her face, over her shoulder in the mirror. Then (deftly and extremely carefully, fingertips somehow never making contact with her skin) he slipped each button through its loop. (…Though his fingers did touch her skin when he gently brushed her hair aside. He hid the electric shiver he was appalled to feel at that. Thinking fiercely, No. Don't go there. Can't.)
As soon as the last one was done, he stepped back, giving her space; but rather than just leaving, glanced again at her face in the mirror.
Jyn appreciated the advance warning. Even though she was expecting his imminent arrival, it reassured her to note that he cared enough about her comfort to make his presence known, to wait until given permission - little more than a nod as they watched each other in the mirror - before he actually acted.
She found herself barely breathing as she continued watching his reflection, wanting so very much to drop her eyes, but somehow unable to do so. He was so concentrated, even doing something as mundane as undoing the tiny buttons that held her dress together. Quickly, oen one one was undone, and she felt a little more free the more loose the dress began to feel.
But it was when she felt the fleeting skin-to-skin contact that she breathed in sharply, shocked at the sparks that it caused. It was totally unexpected, and Jyn had been wholly unprepared for it, unable to obscure the faint in her cheeks.
After a momentary silence, she caught his eyes through the mirror once more, her tongue darting out to wet suddenly dry lips. "Ah - thank you."
" 'f course." …Dammit, he sounded hoarse. He cleared his throat and turned away toward the door. Though didn't exit without asking over his shoulder: "Anything else?"
Jyn couldn't begin to say why that was so exciting - that surprising huskiness in his voice, but it was, even though she desperately tried to ignore the sudden clenching of her stomach. She took a breath and gently shook her head. "No. No - I think I'm alright."
Unless you want to stay.
The thought took her off-guard, and she frowned slightly, wondering just where it had come from ... if she'd truly meant it, or even knew what it could mean.
"Sure. Take your time." Closer to normal-voiced. Still more affected than he usually let on. He managed another smile then went through the door, closing it quietly behind him.
And promptly marched himself into the kitchen area to splash water on his face. Idiot. Weakling. Nerfherder. Get it together.
You're being ridiculous, Jyn mentally chided herself, sighing heavily as her shoulders slumped in the instant the door closed behind him. You don't even know him. Pull yourself together!
She shivered at the thought of his fingers brushing her bare skin, and sighed disgustedly at herself as she got up and quickly stripped from her dress, hanging it up in the extravagantly large closet rather than leaving it crumpled up on the floor.
Jyn swiftly changed into trousers, tunic and vest, tugging a low pair of ankle boots on before seeing to her hair, pulling it back and into her customary low bun, the same strands hanging in her face that always did, finally glancing at her reflection in the mirror and feeling more herself.
One last moment to gather her composure, and she prepared to leave the bedroom, making just enough noise to announce herself, too.
He'd turned his moment of discomposure into an exploration of the kitchen, seeing what was in it and where. He closed the cabinet he'd been looking in when the bedroom door opens… and didn't know whether or not to hide his admiring surprise. She looks…
Stuff it, Andor.
"I should…" coming out of the kitchen to pick up his folded uniform, nodding toward the bedroom. Put these away—because he knew they might be surveilled, here, too? "Then we'll get going."
Nothing was too good for Krennic's ward - Jyn was certain that although she hadn't done anything to stock the kitchen, it would be full of whatever supplies she and Joreth needed nonetheless, much like the rest of the apartment in general. She had never wanted for anything - except freedom.
And now, that seemed impossible.
Jyn kept her distance, but watched Joreth closely as he stepped from the kitchen back into the main living space. "Of course", she answered evenly. "I'm ready when you are."
He nodded again as he passed her, then disappeared into the bedroom. He had the self-control to put the uniform away properly rather than just stuff it into the nearest drawer. He came back out, fixing Sward's ID transponder* onto his jacket, and smiled, and indicated the front door. "After you."
*(concealing the one thing he'd brought with him that wasn't regulation: a lullaby pill.)
The bedroom. The only and only bedroom. Their bedroom. The thought of sharing it was more than enough to set her nerves on edge all the more. But by the time he returned, she had at the very least schooled her expression into something resembling composed.
She nodded her understanding as he gestured toward the door, only glancing over her shoulder once, as if to ensure that Joreth was indeed following.
"You've done some exploring, I take it? I've always wanted to, but - "
Well. She had grown up very sheltered, not entirely of her own volition.
(She would raise an eyebrow, to be sure, but ultimately ... she'd feel relieved that he wasn't expecting her to jump into anything - physically - that she was not yet ready for. Then again, her sense of pride might insist that she insist that they were both adults, and it was a large enough bed so as to afford them their own space. It would depend.)
She felt like a stranger to her own home, and she shook her head no in response. "Not by myself, no. I've really only ever accompanied my - ah, the Director on occasion. Sneaking away for a night was not always an option."
That ... might have been a little too much information, and Jyn cringed inwardly to have offered it unbidden.
She was grateful when no follow-up question arrived - at least, not one that dealt with a subject that she didn't wish to expound upon. "Vallt, but for as long as I can remember, I've lived here. And you? You said that you've only been here a few short months."
And now, married. It was probably not any duty that he had been expecting when he was assigned to Coruscant.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-06-08 10:35 pm (UTC)Her own father wasn't even there to give his only child away at her wedding. Krennic had told her that the nature of his work was too important to take time away from. And her mother, lost in a tragic accident when she was a child, would never know her daughter as an adult, never be there for her to talk to and confide in, and it was -
A lot. Jyn only had herself to depend upon, to trust, because she had come to learn that the world was full of people who were only out for themselves. That didn't mean that she didn't notice the looks leveled their way as they made their way through the crowd - the leering glances from some of the men, the daggers in the gaze of Grendreef's wife, which brought up all sorts of questions that would probably remain unasked, the smug pride in Krennic's.
She was sure that if he hadn't found a suitable potential match, he would have suggested marrying her himself in order to keep a close watch on her, and although she was wary of Joreth, she couldn't help feeling a sense of relief that that had not come to pass.
But that relief was short-lived as they made their way to their new quarters - nicely furnished, as befitting a woman of her status, spacious, but not so spacious as to allow for any real privacy, and Jyn just didn't have the strength to keep her back straight and her head held high any longer, and as Joreth turned away from her, she let her shoulders slump and her expression slip into something more closely resembling her actual emotions - tentative, cautious, scared, but didn't make a move otherwise.
How was she supposed to behave? Jyn knew what was expected of her - of them - but it didnt seem right to just do it. She didn't know what he was feeling, if he was just as lost as her, if this was ... all too much.
She almost didn't recognize her voice as she murmured, "At least we can breathe now."
no subject
Date: 2019-06-08 10:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-08 11:03 pm (UTC)Jyn offered a hesitant, small smile in return, and shrugged her shoulders. "Just another day, really", she replied, grateful for the seemingly safe icebreaker. "Wonder what tomorrow will bring."
She glanced down at her dress, her eyes narrowing slightly. This wasn't her. "This is all a little much to take in."
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 02:06 am (UTC)Followed her eyes down to her dress, then down to his own uniform. Feeling abruptly sick of it. Very conscious of not wanting to suggest too much undressing, he undid his jacket (with all its lying insignia) and tossed it onto the couch, leaving him in his shirtsleeves.
He suddenly turned back to her with a new look in his eyes. "Are you hungry? We could order in. Or I know a place walking distance from here that does good Melahnese. Or there's always the Uscru market. Half the food stalls won't give us indigestion."
Most people went on a date before getting married, but they'd work with what they got.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 02:22 am (UTC)Jyn wanted to ask Joreth just why he had agreed to marrying someone he didn't even know, but on the other hand, she wasn't sure if she wanted to know his answer.
Her shoulders tensed as she watched him divest himself of his jacket, her expression a little more closed again, a little more wary. But he didn't ask anything that she had anticipated - he asked instead if she was hungry. And the truth was, she was. It had been a long day already, and the last time she had eaten, or even had enough of an appetite to, had been hours before.
"I ... could eat", she replied, nodding slightly. "We could change, take a walk, see where it takes us?"
She didn't want to be here, knowing what was expected of them. She just wanted a little time before the time came. Maybe a chance to start getting to know each other, maybe to decompress.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 02:32 am (UTC)…Truth be told: he was very well trained. Not just in the usual forms of espionage but… also in seduction.
Which meant he also had a deft grasp of how not to seduce. How to avoid and deescalate and keep things solidly friendly. And that's where he intended to stay, in this. Only they needed to know how they spent their wedding night. Instinct told him Jyn would do fine, if need be, lying to or deflecting anyone else whose business it wasn't.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 03:36 am (UTC)She had a scant bit of experience, mostly relegated to kisses stolen in hidden corners. Her Uncle had the bad habit of making those she showed interest in disappear - sent to far off bases, never to be heard from again. It disturbed her, that he was so interested in her 'well-being', but who could she tell? Her father, too, worked off-world, and she was almost certain that her communication with him was monitored.
...
She was almost certain that this apartment, too, would be monitored. And how could she possibly bring that to her new husband's attention, that it was probably best to at least go through the motions, lest they attract the wrong kind of attention. Maybe that was a problem for a later time, though.
"That sounds good."
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 03:46 am (UTC)Their belongings had been moved in for them. Yet another opportunity for the Empire to search and monitor everything. Not a problem: the few Alliance items he'd brought with him were safe with Kaytoo in their shuttle, hidden out in the city. (…Kay knew not to expect him there for a while.)
Still, it wasn't hard to find his non-uniform trousers, traveling boots, and a less formal shirt and jacket. He'd fold the uniform items at perfect regulation angles out in the living room and quickly change. Never took him more than minutes.
It occurred to him that women's fashions were ridiculous and sometimes required assistance in getting on or off… but decided to wait to be asked rather than offer.
He gave a cursory look at himself in the unavoidable mirror. He hated them and would have preferred not to have one, but tools of the trade, and not making waves. It still seemed like such a bad joke: with his hair at regulation crop, and clean-shaven, how much younger he looked.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 04:20 am (UTC)She knew very well that their things had been gone through, but she was sure that on her end, at least, nothing was suspicious enough to have been confiscated, although she wouldn't know for sure until she had the chance to take stock of it all. It wouldn't surprise her at all to note missing items - or to find items that she knew were not hers.
Jyn was beginning to wonder if she would ever escape from Krennic's clutches.
She sighed and shook her head, silently chastising herself for thinking of him at a time like this. Not that it was entirely happy occasion, but she wanted to focus on the task at hand - lunch, talking, getting a feel for each other rather than the Director and his obvious machinations.
If Joreth was a good man, he didn't deserve her attention pulled elsewhere.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 04:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 04:37 am (UTC)She stared at herself in the same full-length mirror, and hardly recognized the person that she saw. Jyn still looked uncertain, still looked nervous, still looked scared, much, much younger than her true age.
Jyn pulled her hair out of the elegant chignon it had been put up into it, and the mass of waves fell down and around her shoulders. She kicked her painful, pinching shoes off with a relieved groan, stretching her toes and luxuriating in the soft carpet beneath her feet.
But when it came to undressing, no matter how hard she tried, she could not reach the buttons aligned with the length of her spine. Someone, somewhere wouldn't be pleased if she cut herself out of the dress, so after a few long moments, she had to swallow her pride as she stepped close to the bedroom door.
"I - I could use a little assistance, please."
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 04:48 am (UTC)A glance at the dress made obvious what was needed. He came to stand behind her.
Another questioning, confirming glance into her face, over her shoulder in the mirror. Then (deftly and extremely carefully, fingertips somehow never making contact with her skin) he slipped each button through its loop. (…Though his fingers did touch her skin when he gently brushed her hair aside. He hid the electric shiver he was appalled to feel at that. Thinking fiercely, No. Don't go there. Can't.)
As soon as the last one was done, he stepped back, giving her space; but rather than just leaving, glanced again at her face in the mirror.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 05:22 am (UTC)She found herself barely breathing as she continued watching his reflection, wanting so very much to drop her eyes, but somehow unable to do so. He was so concentrated, even doing something as mundane as undoing the tiny buttons that held her dress together. Quickly, oen one one was undone, and she felt a little more free the more loose the dress began to feel.
But it was when she felt the fleeting skin-to-skin contact that she breathed in sharply, shocked at the sparks that it caused. It was totally unexpected, and Jyn had been wholly unprepared for it, unable to obscure the faint in her cheeks.
After a momentary silence, she caught his eyes through the mirror once more, her tongue darting out to wet suddenly dry lips. "Ah - thank you."
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 05:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 05:47 am (UTC)Unless you want to stay.
The thought took her off-guard, and she frowned slightly, wondering just where it had come from ... if she'd truly meant it, or even knew what it could mean.
"Thank you."
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 05:55 am (UTC)And promptly marched himself into the kitchen area to splash water on his face. Idiot. Weakling. Nerfherder. Get it together.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 06:06 am (UTC)She shivered at the thought of his fingers brushing her bare skin, and sighed disgustedly at herself as she got up and quickly stripped from her dress, hanging it up in the extravagantly large closet rather than leaving it crumpled up on the floor.
Jyn swiftly changed into trousers, tunic and vest, tugging a low pair of ankle boots on before seeing to her hair, pulling it back and into her customary low bun, the same strands hanging in her face that always did, finally glancing at her reflection in the mirror and feeling more herself.
One last moment to gather her composure, and she prepared to leave the bedroom, making just enough noise to announce herself, too.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 06:14 am (UTC)Stuff it, Andor.
"I should…" coming out of the kitchen to pick up his folded uniform, nodding toward the bedroom. Put these away—because he knew they might be surveilled, here, too? "Then we'll get going."
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 06:29 am (UTC)And now, that seemed impossible.
Jyn kept her distance, but watched Joreth closely as he stepped from the kitchen back into the main living space. "Of course", she answered evenly. "I'm ready when you are."
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 06:52 am (UTC)*(concealing the one thing he'd brought with him that wasn't regulation: a lullaby pill.)
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 07:16 am (UTC)She nodded her understanding as he gestured toward the door, only glancing over her shoulder once, as if to ensure that Joreth was indeed following.
"You've done some exploring, I take it? I've always wanted to, but - "
Well. She had grown up very sheltered, not entirely of her own volition.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 07:21 am (UTC)"A bit." (A lot.) "I've only been here a few months. …You?"
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 07:30 am (UTC)She felt like a stranger to her own home, and she shook her head no in response. "Not by myself, no. I've really only ever accompanied my - ah, the Director on occasion. Sneaking away for a night was not always an option."
That ... might have been a little too much information, and Jyn cringed inwardly to have offered it unbidden.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 07:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 07:39 am (UTC)And now, married. It was probably not any duty that he had been expecting when he was assigned to Coruscant.
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