Open RP Post

[candor1]

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[candor1]

"No," he agrees at once with an inside-joke kind of grimace. "Definitely not."

(Is that wholly in character for rank-climbing Sward…? …It's fine, it's justifiable. Anyway, too late now. Just move on.)

He reached out to lightly touch her elbow, to guide her to the archway he'd been seeking. A sit-down restaurant Grendreef had introduced him to; perfectly suitable for an Imperial couple of their station, but also with an outdoor informal area, and a widely held disinterest in being on duty (for their purposes: less likelihood of being monitored).

[shiningstardust]

Jyn raised an eyebrow slowly, her lips soon following, lifting into a tentative little smile. That was a bit unexpected from a man that she assumed was very interested in rising in the ranks as quickly as possible. That was why he had agreed to marry her, wasn't it?

She almost wished that they could have had a chance to get to know each other in a more organic manner, but at least they were making an effort now. He could have been dismissive and uninterested, but it seemed as though he was at least marginally interested in making th effort, and that ... that was a good sign, wasn't it?

It's not like Jyn would have known, she'd grown up so sheltered and hidden away from everything, after all.

She followed along, glancing at the surroundings, the people milling about. It seemed casual and comfortable enough, and far more preferable, at the moment, than their new apartment. She wasn't ready to be alone there just yet.

"Do you come here very often?"

[candor1]

"This is the third time," he said. "Both others, I was accompanying the Admiral." He was courteous to the server who came to seat them, who led them to a table in the outdoor area, off in a corner where they weren't surrounded by other patrons. Cassian pulled out Jyn's chair for her, but, again, treated it more like an inside joke with his tentative smile.

[shiningstardust]

She nodded her understanding, turning her attention to thanking the server as well. The outdoor area was nice enough, comfortable, and luckily, not so crowded as to make her feel hesitant about spending time there. She shared a quick smile as she sat, sighing once she had settled. "Well, then, I'll have to trust you when it comes to what's good."

[candor1]

"Oh, don't do that," he said—outwardly: lightly, still smiling.

(While inside: that hit him hard. I'll have to trust you.)

Seamlessly: "But personally, I like the Alderaanian specials."

[shiningstardust]

"And why is that? Should I be afraid that you'll lead me down the wrong path?", she asked, meant mostly as a tease, but with a genuine curiosity coloring it as well.

She had learned, after all, that even the most innocuous statements had meaning.

"Hm. Alderaanian, alright. I'll take that into consideration."

[candor1]

Not if I can help it. Any more than I already am…

"I wouldn't want to limit your options," he said.

[shiningstardust]

Jyn blinked - once, twice, surprised by the statement. It may have been off the cuff, but it had caught her off-guard, anyway. She hadn't really been given many options before, even when it came to food. So although Joreth might not ever know, even if Jyn kept it to herself, she was touched.

"Very kind of you", she managed, nodding. "Much appreciated."

[candor1]

Clearly, the conversation had turned beyond dinner for both of them. He smiled more slightly and nodded back, and focused for a while on the menu, to give them both space.

[shiningstardust]

The silence was a bit awkward, but Jyn supposed that was probably to be expected - they were still little more than strangers, after all. But this was a situation in which she had to think and choose her words carefully, this was not something that she could brush aside and treat like it was nothing important. This was the man she'd be spending the rest of her life with.

After a bit, Jyn glanced away from the menu, clearing her throat softly.

"What are you thinking?"

[candor1]

He glanced back up at her. Knee-jerk reaction, to answer with what he was considering ordering, died as he met her eyes.

He didn't want to lie to her. More than he absolutely had to. (Which was already so much.)

But moment to moment… see if he couldn't.

"That this is all out of order," he said, just as softly. "A first date usually happens before the wedding."

[shiningstardust]

Jyn appreciated being told the truth - and Joreth seemed very truthful in his reply to her. Moreover, it was reassuring to know that she wasn't the only one that was feeling that way.

That ... was as good a place to start building a foundation as any, wasn't it?

Maybe she should have left well enough alone. Maybe she should have waited for another time entirely, but -

"Why did you agree to it?"

[candor1]

Why had he… in and out of character…

"I nearly didn't," he said, slowly. "I agreed to consider it because… it showed a level of… honor, I guess, from the Admiral, and I wanted to show I recognized that; because it solidified the relationship he wanted with your guardian, because it would be good for my career… but those things are only why I agreed to meet you at all.

"I agreed to go through with it because…"

This was hard. He couldn't be absolutely certain he wasn't just saying it to distract her. …Even though it was what was ultimately true… but he had a harder time trusting himself when he actually wanted…

"…because when I saw you," he said, not hiding his difficulty, "I hated the idea of you being married off." At all? "To anyone else."

[shiningstardust]

Jyn was expecting a diplomatic and entirely practiced answer - surely it was a question that it was anticipated that she would ask at some point.

So, the first portion of his answer was not surprising in the least. She knew that his marrying her was definitely a step in the right direction when it came to furthering his career. She knew that a match between them would forge a relationship between the Admiral and Krennic -

But she wasn't expecting the raw honesty that was to follow. She hadn't anticipated the way that the answer pulled at her heart and stole some of her breath. "You don't even know me."

Surely, he was aware of her reputation, even if he couldn't know how well-founded those rumors were. But he didn't know her, not even a little, not at all.

[candor1]

"I know."

He shook his head, not looking at her. "I know.

"I didn't say it was a good reason. But you asked."

Don't I know you? Don't you feel it too? The mirror?

Not as payback. Just more honesty. Wanting to know—even though he had a horrible feeling he already did. "Why did you?"

[shiningstardust]

Jyn ducked her head, breathing out a noise that could have been a chuckle, albeit not all that joyful. "I did ask, yes", she replied, taking a moment to take a breath before glancing back up, her expression apologetic.

He had been honest with her, now it was her turn to be honest with him.

"I didn't have a choice."

She wanted to apologize, but instead, she let her glance fall to the table once again. She felt ashamed and guilty, and hardly even knew why.

[candor1]

"I'm sorry."

If she looked up at him, she'd see him meeting her eyes, face completely open. He meant it.

[shiningstardust]

Jyn did look up - after a moment - slowly, nodding her appreciation. "It's not your fault."

Not his fault, not his doing, not his responsibility. And maybe Jyn didn't want to get into specifics, maybe she never would, but at least he had an idea, an understanding of why she was making a concentrated attempt to try to get to know him.

"I hope we might know each other someday."

[candor1]

"Me, too."

Though they never would.

…unless…

No. He couldn't afford to even begin to think like that. Can't take anyone with you. If she'd even—

No.

The server chose that moment to come back, when Cassian now felt too sick to eat. He ordered anyway (no choice) and considered what next.

"We can make a start," he said. "What's something you think I should know about you? Or something you want to know about me?"

[shiningstardust]

Now, Jyn would never have the opportunity to make an escape. Now, she really was well and truly stuck. If she wasn't at her post, under the watchful gazes of those who expected to work and keep the Empire's machine running smoothly, she would have no privacy at home, either.

Even if Joreth hadn't been recruited specifically to keep eyes on her, Jyn couldn't put it past Krennic to corner him somewhere and convince him to do it. She had no one to trust, nowhere to run.

And she suddenly felt sick to her stomach. Although, when the server returned, she managed to choose one of the Alderaanian specials, despite no longer having an appetite. She'd just have to go through the motions. She was good at that.

"I hardly know where to begin", she started, shrugging. "I've ... always wanted a pet of my own. Maybe a tooka cat."

She watched him expectantly, waiting.

"Your turn."

[candor1]

His smile at the cat was spontaneous. "We could probably arrange that…?"

His turn. Right. …Oh, why this one… ah well. Honesty. "I don't remember my mother. For years, I didn't know who she was. My father told me nothing. At some point I even started to wonder if he was really my father or had kidnapped me."

[shiningstardust]

Her smile was a bit more hesitant. She was far more used to being denied such superfluous desires, informed that it was a waste of time to focus on those sorts of distractions when there were far better uses of her time. "... Yeah?"

Jyn hadn't expected Joreth's offering to pull at her heartstrings so thoroughly. He couldn't know, could he, that she had lost her mother at a young age, too, that it still hurt to think about her and barely remember the sound of her voice or what her smile looked like, how it felt to be held in her arms.

"I'm sorry. And you never found out anything otherwise - ?"

[candor1]

"I found out. After my father died too."

Going into details would either require lies or stray into cover-threatening territory, so he dropped it. Instead, he folded his hands on the table and signaled the change of tone with another smile. "Your turn. What would you name a tooka cat and why?"

[shiningstardust]

Jyn had so many follow-up questions, but she was observant enough to know when to drop them and to concentrate on other things entirely. Still, she felt that maybe, he could understand her, at least a little.

"Oh, that's impossible to determine without meeting them and getting to know their disposition first. I would hate to name it Sunny if it was actually very grumpy. Although I've never known a grumpy took cat before, have you?"

[candor1]

He wished he could tell her about Lothal and the loth-cats. But anything that could be easily looked up was a no-go.

Ah, but he could borrow, from the Organas of Alderaan— "A friend of mine had an aunt with four tooka cats. My friend was allowed to name one of them. Their names were Fluffy, Taffy, Muffy, and AT-AV*."



[*All-Terrain Attack Vehicle
a Princess Leia story from the EU, by Barbara Hambley]