Open RP Post

[candor1]

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[candor1]

His stomach fell away and heart rose up again. No. Don't even think about it. Not now, not ever.

Can't take anyone with you.

…At least, don't think about it right now.

But…

Cassian looked at her thoughtfully. "You know… we're allowed a honeymoon. I hadn't thought about it, but… If you could go anywhere…?"

[shiningstardust]

It was a tempting offer - and Jyn didn't know yet if Joreth was the type of man who didn't deserve a runaway wife, but if she had the chance -

If there was even a hint of opportunity ...

She might disappear and never even think about returning.

If there was a whisper of breathlessness in her voice, Jyn brought no attention to it. "I don't know - I hear Naboo has unparalleled beauty. Where would you want to go?"

[candor1]

Yavin 4.

"Naboo would work for me," he answered. "I've never been there."

[shiningstardust]

Jyn was already daydreaming about jumping ship and making a run for it. It would never come to pass, of course, not with so many eyes on her, courtesy of the Director, but it made for a nice dream, regardless.

At least until she woke and realized just how trapped she still was.

"Where would you go, if you could?"

[candor1]

Yavin 4
Fest
Alderaan
Kashyyyk
Charissia
Pakrik Minor

"I really don't know," he said. "I guess I" [Sward] "would like, someday, to find somewhere new."

He looked into her eyes again, with the same intensity of wanting her to see he meant it. "I'm serious about Naboo, if you are. Shall we talk about it again after we've had a chance to—" (sleep on it) "—think about it?"

[shiningstardust]

Somewhere new.

It was really all that Jyn wanted, too. Unfortunately, she was of the belief that no matter where she went, she would never truly be out of the Empire's reach.

After a moment - when she remembered how to - Jyn nodded her agreement. "I would like that, thank you. Maybe my uncle will be kind and allow me the time."

[candor1]

He frowned. "Do you still answer to him? Even after…" he indicated themselves with his hand that had a ring on it.

[shiningstardust]

Jyn tried not to show her disdain for the man that had practically raised her (kept her captive) but there was no helping the bitterness that colored her tone. "Well. I am his protege, after all."

[candor1]

Cassian's frown morphed into one raised eyebrow. "Okay… but in terms of legality and societal expectation…" How could he put this in a way he found tolerable? "…I'm pretty sure you can now use me as an excuse to not comply to all his wishes."

[shiningstardust]

Had they not just had a little bit of a conversation about how Jyn hadn't chosen whether or not she wanted to be married? Jyn feared that she would always find herself under the Director's thumb. "In any case, it's probably worth a try. Just - don't be surprised if my time off requests are denied."

[candor1]

She hadn't chosen to get married. But…

It occurred to him to try and say this out loud. Though once again, it was tough.

He set down his fork and leaned forward, not entirely looking at her, keeping his voice very low.

"I don't want this to be the power dynamic between us. But as far as anyone else needs to know our business…" [Imperial] "law and custom is that husband outranks any other male family member in control over a woman's life."

(Made him feel dirty even saying it, but it wouldn't Sward.)

"If you could avoid doing anything that would get me—" as Sward, he had to include— "demoted," but mainly: "arrested or executed, that would be great. But… since we're not actually going to do things that way… you can use it. I'm not going to try to tell you what to do. But I can always be your alibi to empower whatever you choose to do. …Do you get what I'm trying to say?"

[shiningstardust]

Jyn couldn't decide whether she could trust Joreth or not. What if Krennic had already recruited him as another handler? What if he was just trying to win her trust until she inevitably made a mistake and got caught doing so?

He couldn't possibly care this much about a woman he had known a few short handful of hours. And what reward was he expecting for saying such things, offering her the only sense of freedom she might ever now?

She rankled a bit at the bit about power dynamics, but she knew it was true. Women, even highly lauded ones, were not seen as equal to their spouses. So even though she was the more decorated of the two, she was still considered a second-class citizen.

"He's not even my real uncle - ", she found herself saying, in the moment before she caught herself and zipped her lips. "Why? Why would you do that for me?"

What do you want in return?

[candor1]

He shrugged, still not quite looking at her, looking uncomfortable.

(Which he was, for all the reasons, but he was letting it show because this was Sward going a little against the Imperial grain.)

"Our marriage benefits me. We both know how. It does that no matter how we actually treat each other. Seems only fair it benefit you, too. Right? —In any case, I'm not going to do it any other way. I don't want power over you. I've never understood how anyone can… enjoy that.

"…I see this going one of two ways: we keep out of each other's way, or we actually… become… I dunno. Friends. Either way, we conduct our own lives. With the extra status this—" again, he gestured to both of them "—gives us. I don't know about you, but I don't see it helping my career to come home to feeling horrible about each other and ourselves."

[shiningstardust]

Jyn was still wary - and she had every right to be - but ... unless Joreth was one hell of a convincing actor, unless she was getting soft when she should have been fortifying the walls she'd been building her entire life ...

She was more inclined to believe him.

Jyn swallowed hard, but listened closely, nodding her understanding and her agreement. Maybe this would lead to total disaster, being complacent when she had no real proof that she could trust him, but ... he seemed so earnest and truthful ...

"I ... would like to be able to come home without having to continue playing roles", she offered. To anyone looking on, it would seem as though they were having a perfectly normal - a mundane - conversation. "I suppose ... it would be nice ... to have a friend."

[candor1]

… unless Joreth was one hell of a convincing actor… —(which he was. But part of how was knowing when to tell the truth.)

I ... would like to be able to come home without having to continue playing roles —(oh, Force, me too)

I suppose ... it would be nice ... to have a friend. —He finally looked up at her, and smiled, again. Yes, please. On impulse, he picked up his glass and raised it, just a little, to her. "Then: I'm pleased to meet you, Jyn Erso."

[shiningstardust]

Jyn might end up regretting it in the end, but this was the culmination of a very long handful of years that were marked with arguments and threats and downright nastiness, and she was so very tired. Just this once, maybe, she could trust, and maybe - maybe she wouldn't pay for it in the end.

She laughed softly as she returned the gesture, nodding. "I'm pleased to meet you, too, Joreth Sward."

[candor1]

For just a moment, he was tempted to tell her to call him Cassian. Say it was Sward's middle name or something. No. Stop. Dammit, this was more dangerous than he'd thought. She was. Because he was wanting things—like to give her more honesty and hear her say his real name. But part of what was drawing him to her so strongly was her intelligence; an innate strength he could sense in her; that she was a survivor and would make the most of any tools at her disposal. So he could even less afford to give her anything that she could research and make use of. Whether she might prove sympathetic or not. He couldn't let that be anyone's decision but his own.

Much as he genuinely wanted what he'd said. A friend.

(You have one. He's big and blunt and black and waiting for your next check-in at the shuttle. Trust no one else.)

He pushed all that aside. And smiled, and took a sip of his drink.

Setting it down—"Should we continue our game? I think you asked me about hobbies? Or we can take a break and talk about something mundane."

[shiningstardust]

Jyn followed suit, setting her glass back down in order to focus on her plate - not that her appetite had fully returned, but it did smell amazing, and she could put in a marginal amount of effort to try and prove that she was as okay as she was trying to project.

She was far from okay, but at least she felt a little more hopeful than she had at the beginning of the morning. And maybe that was something to hold on to.

"Isn't asking about hobbies as mundane as it comes?", she asked, an eyebrow slowly raising wryly. "What's your idea of mundane?"

[candor1]

"That's true," he granted, mouth curving in a half-smile. "Mine are, anyway. I like dejarik better than sabacc, though I'll play with officers. I don't read as much as I should. I like maps. I listen to comm chatter or holos as I fall asleep."

…He was so busy monitoring what he said for character continuity, he'd forgotten to monitor for the remaining awkwardness of their situation. It caught up to him a moment too late. He wondered if he should say, As long as it won't disturb you, or if that itself was assuming too much. Like that they'd be sleeping in the same room.

[shiningstardust]

"It would be more mundane if you had no interest in anything at all", she replied, shrugging. "Besides, I'm sure that there are worse hobbies to have. I like reading - studying. I've seen so few holos that I wouldn't mind watching more. And if you're looking for games, I'm sure you can easily find them. Depending on your skill level and how many drinks they've had, you might win a few extra credits."

Jyn was already assuming that they would share a room - they had to, after all, unless he was planning on sleeping on the couch. And while the thought was a little uncomfortable, it was only because she was far more used to being by herself.

[candor1]

He was planning on sleeping on the couch. But they'd talk about that when it came up. The fact that she didn't even blink was reassuring, even though he didn't know how to interpret it. That was okay. Intentions weren't how things in the universe played out, but they were well into proving they could and would talk things through with each other.

"Here's one of my dark secrets," he said, face quite serious. "Could get me into trouble." Quite possibly, beyond just teasing. Might be bad for keeping trust, with the expectations (and definitions of manhood) Imperial officers put on. But safe to share with her. "But… I don't really like to drink."

It wasn't just an issue of safety or security. He was pretty good at keeping ahold of himself under various influences—anti-interrogation training. It was more that, lowering the shields on his own mind was really not enjoyable.

"I'm pretty good at stretching out one drink and making it seem like I'm having more than I am. Don't tell anyone, okay?"

[shiningstardust]

So far, Joreth was proving to be everything that Jyn hadn't been expecting to be. So, yes, it would surprise her when the time came and he did the chivalrous thing, but she would appreciate not being expected to ... do anything that she wasn't ready to do, even if it was the expected thing.

She leaned in closer, even though she was almost certain that his dark secret wasn't nearly as dire as he suggested it might be. Clearly, though, the secret was not entirely a joke, and Jyn knew as well as anyone that any sign of weakness could be exploited, and that bullying absolutely occurred no matter how high up the rank one went.

"Your secret is safe with me", she answered, nodding gently. "If you don't tell anyone that I feel the same."

She would hate to consider what might happen if she was not in control of her faculties and other had ulterior motives.

[candor1]

Her response was surprisingly touching. His smile was softened, too. "I promise."



[ooc: do we wanna fast fwd through the rest of dinner and get them back to their place?]

[shiningstardust]

"Good", she answered, her smile small and fleeting, but genuine. For once, a little of the weight on her shoulders lifted. For once, she didn't feel like she had to say the expected and accepted things. For once, she felt that maybe it was alright to be herself ... a little at a time.

"Good. We should eat if we don't want our food to go cold."

[ooc: Yes, go ahead! I think dinner was a success.]

[candor1]

[ooc: Definitely! :-D ]

The rest of dinner passed… surprisingly comfortably. The conversation drifted to more casual places, but they talked as if they'd known each other much longer than they actually did. There were even a few silences that felt compatible, not weighted or strange. Cassian not only didn't have to force himself to eat, but was surprised when he looked down and found he'd finished his meal. He hadn't been paying attention to it.

(Only to her.)

He didn't overthink paying for the meal; he'd invited her, after all. They'd figure out joint and/or separate credit accounts later. When he offered his arm on the way out, it was with another conspiratorial smile; the pageant more firmly a shared joke they were playing on everyone else, not something they had to do for one another.

They took the long way back, walking off the meal, taking in some of the sights of the city. Maybe also delaying having to figure out anything else this evening.

But finally, they were back at… their apartment. Cassian opened the door, but stood still a moment in the hall, just looking in.