That tone of her voice… he turned to look at her fully, his free hand coming up automatically to the side of her face, gently touching her cheek.
But he shook himself, and his hand dropped away—as did the one holding hers, and he flashed a rueful smile. "Hope you still feel that way when we're disagreeing on what to name it. For now… time to get out of these formal things, yeah?"
For a moment - just one small moment, Jyn wondered if this was the moment that they kissed. But she didn't make a move, and neither did he, and all too suddenly, she was without any contact whatsoever, dizzy with possibilities.
She breathed out a shaky, soft chuckle and shrugged, so reluctant to step away, no matter how uncomfortable her dress and heels. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it", she answered, sharing a quick smile before she ducked her head down, her cheeks a faint, warm pin. "You want to go first, or shall I?"
"This one is easy, too", she laughed, finally taking that first step toward the bedroom, and then another. "There's a zipper down the side. Fathoms easier than that wedding dress."
"Okay - ", she sighed, rolling her shoulders back to get rid of some of the tension still holding tight. "I'll be right back."
He pulled off his jacket and put himself languidly over the sofa, smiling back at her, until she passed into the next room and closed the door.
Immediately, Cassian grabbed his transponder and sent a brief message to Kaytoo in Mon Calamari Blink Code*. A-L-L--W-E-L-L--M-E-E-T--P-E-N-T-A-D-A-Y*--0-6-0-0
The first thing Jyn did was kick off her infernal heels and take down her hair. Once those tasks were done, she could concentrate on getting out of her dress - too showy, too ostentatious, not her - and get into her usual nightclothes. But only after she washed her face did she think she was ready to head back out into the living space.
She was being ridiculous, she chided herself, for looking forward to it. It had only been a small handful of days, she had always been okay (relatively speaking) being alone.
But now ...
She shook her head and lightly stepped from the bedroom to the living area. "All yours."
Cassian's transponder was safely back in his pocket by the time Jyn reemerged.
"Thanks," he said, standing, picking up his discarded jacket, and shooting her another smile as he passed her en route to the bedroom.
(It occurred to him, somewhere in there, to wonder what a formal outfit she'd actually chosen for herself would look like.)
He changed and, as ever, folded his dress uniform perfectly. The clothes he changed into were more exercise clothes: soft and breathable, not designed to be lived in, but counting on access to washing. He left his feet, still less usually, bare.
He came back out, not feeling tired out in the least. Rather, the opposite: looking forward to whatever the evening held with Jyn.
Jyn headed toward the comfortable kitchen before sitting down - needing a drink of water to clear the cloying taste of whatever it was that she'd had at the party.
But by the time Joreth returned - looking almost as relaxed as Jyn felt, now that both weren't expected to put on a performance for an audience, she was curled up in the corner of the couch, just waiting.
"Better?", she asked, smiling from over the rim of her glass. "Come on, we have to decide what we're going to do for the rest of the night."
It wasn't early. It wasn't late. And for once, she wasn't so tired that all she wanted to do was fall into bed and sleep.
"Much." He crossed to the couch and sat on the other end—not crowding her, not too far away from her either. "Um… I dunno. There's always holos. Or dejarik. Or… what do you do in your free time when you're on your own?"
It was a comfortable distance - and Jyn didn't want to seem needy by moving any closer. Personal space, and all that. "Work - ", she answered, shrugging. "Study. Sometimes I'll watch the odd holo, sometimes I read. Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I visit a gym and train. Although I don't know that I have the energy for it tonight. What about you?"
"Mm, we'll put it on a list for another time. Besides, I feel like I've gone through a few rounds after ... that", she replied, sighing. "Oh, nothing fun, I assure you. Just ... wanting to learn programming. My uncle says it's a waste of my time, but I don't think so."
Cassian braced his elbow on the back of the couch; leaned his head against his own hand there, so he was leaning closer to Jyn without looming in at her. "May I ask…? I've never been a woman in Imperial space, and I've been mostly on my own. Is it… usual? For an uncle to claim so much control over a niece's life?"
Jyn smiled again, but there was little resembling any sort of contentment in it. "Honestly? I don't know. My mother died in an accident when I was young, and my father was lost in his grief. The Director had been a close friend since their Academy days, and ... I didn't have any other family to live with. So ... while my father went away to recover, he was put into guardianship over me."
She shrugged, glancing down at her hands, resting in her lap. "I'm perfectly capable of taing care of myself, but ... well, you spoke with him tonight. He's still ... invested."
Cassian looked down at her hands, too. He didn't know what to say.
"Well," he said finally. "Like I said before. You can always use me to bolster your taking care of yourself, in his eyes. I think frustrating his… investment would give me particular satisfaction."
When she glanced back up, her expression had shifted again. A smile, small, but real nonetheless. "I appreciate your willingness to help me frustrate him. I'll admit - I take a little bit of pleasure in doing the exact same thing."
"I would, I think, like to feel free to live my own life now, you know? I'm grateful for all that he's done for me, but ... I don't want to feel beholden to him forever."
Jyn sometimes wondered the exact same thing. Was her father really too busy to visit his only child - his only remaining family - or was he being kept away? And who else had Krennic tasked with watching over her?
But all she did was accept the touch and lean a little closer, almost as though she was seeking out the comfort all the more.
He'd been in relationships while undercover before.
Hell, he'd been in another relationship while under this cover, before.
No other protestation of love or commitment had ever knocked him flat the way that statement from Jyn just did.
What is wrong with you… this is not the mission… she is not…
Slowly, he spread his hand on hers. Then, not hiding the tremor in his touch, hyperaware for the barest hint of protest from her, he moved his hand up her arm, to her shoulder; then slipped around both her shoulders, as the rest of him shifted closer to follow.
For a moment, Jyn kept completely still, not wanting to break the moment and lose the tentative contact. She only really found her breath again as she felt his hand as it moved from fingers touching to creeping from hand to shoulder and finally curled around her shoulders, motivating both of them to get a little closer, to cuddle much like they did while in bed.
"I didn't want to like you", she admitted softly, although she was sure he was already aware. "I wanted to hate you, just on principle alone. But I don't - I don't think I ever really did."
She moved closer, as he did; so with relief, he closed his arm around her shoulders and let his body press gently with hers.
"I never thought you'd like me, either." He let himself, for a moment, close his eyes; rest his mouth against her hair. "I felt so foolish… not knowing you but… liking you anyway.
Jyn didn't know how or even why, but the simple act of just being close was so reassuring that it made her forget (as much as she could) all the worries that usually weighted her down.
"I know ... that you're turning out to be nothing like what I feared you were going to be", she murmured, inhaling shakily. "I know that you're kinder and more generous than I was anticipating. I know that I sleep so much better with you than I ever did alone."
She closed her eyes and sat silent for a moment, just enjoying the proximity and how safe she felt.
He felt in more danger now than he ever had in battle.
Know me, then My name is I'm Allied with I'm here to
Leave it. Leave it.
He closed his arms around her, loosely, gently, but with strength; knew he was shaking, too, and didn't try to hide it—if he even could. Just held her a long moment, feeling one of their hearts pounding and not able to be sure whose it was.
What could he say…? Ask me anything, though chances are good I'll have to lie
…Pfassk, he was shaking hard.
"What do you want to know?" he asked softly, finally.
For that long moment, Jyn was just as quiet, not only to take in the feel of his arms around her, but to try to temper the beating of her heart, to find the words - any words to explain how she was feeling, or even what she wanted.
Mostly, though, she wondered worried about what was causing his trembling.
She placed a gentle hand against his his arm, pondering the question, pondering her possible questions in return, and finally decided on what she wanted to know first. "Are you scared?"
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Date: 2019-06-21 02:34 am (UTC)But he shook himself, and his hand dropped away—as did the one holding hers, and he flashed a rueful smile. "Hope you still feel that way when we're disagreeing on what to name it. For now… time to get out of these formal things, yeah?"
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Date: 2019-06-21 02:55 am (UTC)She breathed out a shaky, soft chuckle and shrugged, so reluctant to step away, no matter how uncomfortable her dress and heels. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it", she answered, sharing a quick smile before she ducked her head down, her cheeks a faint, warm pin. "You want to go first, or shall I?"
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Date: 2019-06-21 03:00 am (UTC)(He could use the moments alone with his transponder to check in with Kay. They were overdue for a meeting.)
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Date: 2019-06-21 03:04 am (UTC)"Okay - ", she sighed, rolling her shoulders back to get rid of some of the tension still holding tight. "I'll be right back."
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Date: 2019-06-21 03:14 am (UTC)Immediately, Cassian grabbed his transponder and sent a brief message to Kaytoo in Mon Calamari Blink Code*. A-L-L--W-E-L-L--M-E-E-T--P-E-N-T-A-D-A-Y*--0-6-0-0
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Date: 2019-06-21 03:31 am (UTC)She was being ridiculous, she chided herself, for looking forward to it. It had only been a small handful of days, she had always been okay (relatively speaking) being alone.
But now ...
She shook her head and lightly stepped from the bedroom to the living area. "All yours."
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Date: 2019-06-21 03:39 am (UTC)"Thanks," he said, standing, picking up his discarded jacket, and shooting her another smile as he passed her en route to the bedroom.
(It occurred to him, somewhere in there, to wonder what a formal outfit she'd actually chosen for herself would look like.)
He changed and, as ever, folded his dress uniform perfectly. The clothes he changed into were more exercise clothes: soft and breathable, not designed to be lived in, but counting on access to washing. He left his feet, still less usually, bare.
He came back out, not feeling tired out in the least. Rather, the opposite: looking forward to whatever the evening held with Jyn.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-21 03:55 am (UTC)But by the time Joreth returned - looking almost as relaxed as Jyn felt, now that both weren't expected to put on a performance for an audience, she was curled up in the corner of the couch, just waiting.
"Better?", she asked, smiling from over the rim of her glass. "Come on, we have to decide what we're going to do for the rest of the night."
It wasn't early. It wasn't late. And for once, she wasn't so tired that all she wanted to do was fall into bed and sleep.
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Date: 2019-06-21 04:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-21 04:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-21 04:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-21 04:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-21 04:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-21 04:52 am (UTC)She shrugged, glancing down at her hands, resting in her lap. "I'm perfectly capable of taing care of myself, but ... well, you spoke with him tonight. He's still ... invested."
Obsessed.
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Date: 2019-06-21 04:59 am (UTC)"Well," he said finally. "Like I said before. You can always use me to bolster your taking care of yourself, in his eyes. I think frustrating his… investment would give me particular satisfaction."
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Date: 2019-06-21 05:02 am (UTC)"I would, I think, like to feel free to live my own life now, you know? I'm grateful for all that he's done for me, but ... I don't want to feel beholden to him forever."
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Date: 2019-06-21 05:09 am (UTC)But all he did was unbrace his arm, and reach out to touch her hand. "That sounds good to me."
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Date: 2019-06-21 05:16 am (UTC)But all she did was accept the touch and lean a little closer, almost as though she was seeking out the comfort all the more.
"I think I kind of like you, you know."
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Date: 2019-06-21 05:20 am (UTC)Cassian had been undercover before.
He'd been in relationships while undercover before.
Hell, he'd been in another relationship while under this cover, before.
No other protestation of love or commitment had ever knocked him flat the way that statement from Jyn just did.
What is wrong with you… this is not the mission… she is not…
Slowly, he spread his hand on hers. Then, not hiding the tremor in his touch, hyperaware for the barest hint of protest from her, he moved his hand up her arm, to her shoulder; then slipped around both her shoulders, as the rest of him shifted closer to follow.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-21 05:38 am (UTC)"I didn't want to like you", she admitted softly, although she was sure he was already aware. "I wanted to hate you, just on principle alone. But I don't - I don't think I ever really did."
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Date: 2019-06-21 05:44 am (UTC)"I never thought you'd like me, either." He let himself, for a moment, close his eyes; rest his mouth against her hair. "I felt so foolish… not knowing you but… liking you anyway.
"I'm… really, really glad, Jyn."
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Date: 2019-06-21 05:55 am (UTC)"I know ... that you're turning out to be nothing like what I feared you were going to be", she murmured, inhaling shakily. "I know that you're kinder and more generous than I was anticipating. I know that I sleep so much better with you than I ever did alone."
She closed her eyes and sat silent for a moment, just enjoying the proximity and how safe she felt.
"I know that I want to know you better."
no subject
Date: 2019-06-21 06:06 am (UTC)Know me, then
My name is
I'm Allied with
I'm here to
Leave it. Leave it.
He closed his arms around her, loosely, gently, but with strength; knew he was shaking, too, and didn't try to hide it—if he even could. Just held her a long moment, feeling one of their hearts pounding and not able to be sure whose it was.
What could he say…? Ask me anything, though chances are good I'll have to lie
…Pfassk, he was shaking hard.
"What do you want to know?" he asked softly, finally.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-21 06:21 am (UTC)Mostly, though, she wondered
worriedabout what was causing his trembling.She placed a gentle hand against his his arm, pondering the question, pondering her possible questions in return, and finally decided on what she wanted to know first. "Are you scared?"
no subject
Date: 2019-06-21 06:27 am (UTC)What else could he say…? Even if he wasn't determined to tell her the truth whenever he could, he'd already rather given himself away.
Time to lie again… although…? "I've never done anything like this before."
Okay, that was actually true, if somewhat open to interpretation.
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From:c/w and PM convo
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