Date: 2019-08-21 03:53 am (UTC)
shiningstardust: (all the way)
From: [personal profile] shiningstardust
He couldn't fake that. He couldn't fake that. But maybe, if he were a practiced liar ... he could. Jyn didn't know what to think, but her heart ached in a way that made her gasp.

But she accepted the offered hand and curled her trembling fingers around his, a moment's hesitation in order to find her strength before she stood, too.

Date: 2019-08-21 04:19 am (UTC)
shiningstardust: (all the way)
From: [personal profile] shiningstardust
Jyn didn't want to let go. But her grip was loose, just in case Cassian did. It was strange to think of him in terms of a name she didn't know - a man that was a stranger - but she couldn't allow herself to think of him as anyone or anything else. She'd get lost in fantasy if she did that.

She followed along easily, no doubt or second-guessing every step they took, Argi following along as though he didn't want to be left alone.

Regretfully, Jyn let go once they entered the bedroom, if only so she could sit at the edge of the bed and try to calm her nerves, her erratic heartbeats.

Date: 2019-08-21 04:29 am (UTC)
shiningstardust: (please)
From: [personal profile] shiningstardust
This time, it was Jyn that tentatively sought contact - just the gentle brush of fingertips to fingertips, but more than enough to feed the guilt gnawing in the pit of her belly.

"Don't you want to change?", she murmured. "You should be comfortable."

Date: 2019-08-21 05:08 am (UTC)
shiningstardust: (so much to say)
From: [personal profile] shiningstardust
It was difficult to find the words to say, but Jyn still found herself hoping that the touch of her hand, however slight, was enough to say I want this or please don't go or any number of other things she couldn't say.

She sat still, watching and waiting. He didn't say anything once he removed some items of clothing and loosened others, and it took a long, quiet moment before she realized that he was waiting for her to make the next move.

Jyn nodded gently and took a breath before she scooted back to rest against her pillows, pulling the covers up over her lap, her turn to wait for him to join her.

Date: 2019-08-21 05:33 am (UTC)
shiningstardust: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shiningstardust
Jyn carefully considered her options. Cassian had asked if they could rest, but it was pretty obvious that neither had gotten much of it the one night they had spent apart. So it wasn't going to help matters much if there was still this distance between them, even if it was self-imposed.

...

Besides that, every inch of her craved the contact they had been missing. So, another breath, and wide uncertain eyes and she slid forward a little, and then a little more, and a little more after that as she took steps toward shortening that distance.

Date: 2019-08-21 06:10 am (UTC)
shiningstardust: (listening)
From: [personal profile] shiningstardust
All movement ceased.

Not because she didn't want or enjoy the gentle touch, but because he wasn't moving otherwise, and Jyn was suddenly unsure of whether or not he even wanted her closer to begin with.

Maybe she was taking advantage now, and despite whatever circumstances surrounded them right now, Jyn did not want that.

"... Is this alright? Do you want me closer or no?"

Date: 2019-08-21 06:57 am (UTC)
shiningstardust: (w. cassian ; orbiting)
From: [personal profile] shiningstardust
She just couldn't stand the thought that she was doing something that was unwanted - some stupid, strictly performative gesture that was ... empty and meant nothing at all.

And then, before she knew it, she was being gathered back into his arms and sighed heavily as she found them chest to chest, and she carefully curled her arm around his middle, fingertips gently tracing a random pattern where they rested.

There was no time to say anything, and she wasn't even sure what would escape her lips if she tried. She felt the press of fingertips to cheek, lips to forehead, and all she could do in return was shut her eyes tight and try to reign in the tears that quickly formed.

She hoped with everything that she was that this wasn't a goodbye - but a large part of her felt like it could be.

Date: 2019-08-21 07:45 am (UTC)
shiningstardust: (teary)
From: [personal profile] shiningstardust
She didn't want to have to let go. Unfortunately, Jyn didn't see any other outcome. Unless ... she found a way to hint that she knew he wasn't who he said he was - that Krennic's suspicions were correct and that she was a sympathizer.

...

That she might want to defect if there was a real chance of making an escape.

But she didn't. She inhaled sharply and buried her face against his chest a little more, and wished that this moment in time could last forever. She didn't know what he said, couldn't recognize the language, but if she was sure about anything, it was that it was important.

Jyn didn't ask for an explanation. "I'm sorry", she breathed, words muffled by fabric too close to her mouth. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

For everything.

Date: 2019-08-21 08:24 am (UTC)
shiningstardust: (please)
From: [personal profile] shiningstardust
But she did. For eavesdropping. For willfully keeping that fact from him and for purely selfish reasons ... because she couldn't yet give this up, or let him go, even though she now knew that was most likely best for the both of them.

Jyn knew what was expected of them as a married couple - but knowing he wasn't who he said he was, was that marriage even valid at this point? She wasn't going to force him to do anything he couldn't stomach doing just for the sake of keeping up appearances.

How cruel would she be to do that? She ached for him, every bit of her, but she could not be complicit in hurting him even worse than he already seemed to be.

"... I'll take you however I can have you. Nobody else needs to know what we do in the privacy of our own home."

Date: 2019-08-21 08:52 am (UTC)
shiningstardust: (teary)
From: [personal profile] shiningstardust
Don't tell me that, she thought, suddenly breathing harshly, like she was about to lose all sense of self-control, like she could no longer hold back the tears prickling the insides of her eyelids. It'll just make things harder when it ends, when you leave, when I'm all alone again.

It was only when he pulled away that she opened her eyes, unable to school her expression before giving him a good look at all the emotions she was feeling - the conflict, the guilt and sadness, the understanding and regret.

The love.

"You're going to leave me", he replied, and it was a statement, not a question, and there was no blame or anger in her voice, just a heartbroken acceptance. "But I'll be alright - "

A lie.

"And ... I hope you'll remember that I love you, too."

Date: 2019-08-23 10:51 pm (UTC)
shiningstardust: (displeased to say the least)
From: [personal profile] shiningstardust
Funny how the more things changed, the more they stayed the same.

What a mundane thing to do while she was still reeling from everything that hat happened over the past few days, and uncertain of what the future was going to bring.

Maybe if she weren't so preoccupied in her own thoughts, she would have noticed that she and Cassian were being trailed. But the realization of the situation came too late, and they found themselves cornered by a group who clearly had malice in mind.

What the gang didn't take into account was that for innocuous as they appeared, both Cassian and Jyn knew how to defend themselves. She was small, but the individuals who took her on soon learned that they had underestimated her. Not that she didn't take a fair share of punches, but she doled out more, and soon, wild-eyed and panting, she turned to check on Cassian, just in time to see the gleam of a knife being unsheathed.

"Cassian!, she cried, breathlessly, desperately, "Knife!"

Date: 2019-08-24 06:41 am (UTC)
shiningstardust: (teary)
From: [personal profile] shiningstardust
In the heat of the moment, adrenaline rushing through her veins, Jyn didn't even notice what she had said. All she knew was that if she hadn't warned Cassian, he would have lost his life right there in front of her, and she would have been helpless to do anything about it.

But he was able to duck and move in time, and the remaining assailants were soon readily dispatched. Jyn had already collected a stun baton and blaster from the men closest to her, and she called back - "Disarmed - " as she lifted a pair of wickedly sharp blades from the last.

She stepped back and watched for any signs of consciousness as Cassian called for authorities, the pounding of her heart slowly subsiding, her body wracked with shivers as the adrenaline began to dissipate, and the realization of what they'd been through began to set in more fully.

Slowly, he turned, the expression that he focused on her wary. Jyn blinked rapidly as he asked the question, her brow furrowing in her confusion. "Your ... name? Or ... maybe I just said watch out? I - I don't remember."

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Haha, no worries, it's more than fine :0D

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And happily so!

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<3 <3 <3

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Cassian Andor

May 2019

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