candor1 | Open RP Post

The light squeeze of her arm on his ribs sent a new warmth through him. His hand pulsed gently on her arm in response.

And the subtle blush on her cheeks was exquisite.

"Yes," he said quietly. "Definitely."

Jyn hadn't anticipated any of this happening - not so soon, maybe not ever, but already, she didn't think she could stand the thought of not doing it again.

"Good", she murmured, certain that from distance, he could probaby feel the beating of her heart. "Told you we'd manage."

Only hard to tell if the thudding heartbeat was hers or his. He met her eyes and genuinely smiled.

A large part of him wanted to gather her close again and fall back asleep. But, even for the day after his wedding, he couldn't shirk duty. Groaning a little, he moved his hand away from her again, craning back a bit in preparation. (Even if he left his other arm around her a moment longer.) "I have to report to the Admiral at oh-eight-hundred." Glancing into her face more… warningly, or apologetically: "And I think we're meeting with your guardian this afternoon. Any tips?"

What a way to wake up, unexpectedly wonderful, and if it had been at all a possibility, Jyn would've stayed in bed much, much longer, too.

But duty called, even the day after their wedding when for all intents and purposes, they should have been granted nothing but time together, and Jyn knew that she needed to get up and prepare for her day, as well.

"I've got tests scheduled today that I can't miss", she replied, her own smile turning apologetic, only faltering with the mention of Krennic. How could she possibly begin to explain that there would be no pleasing the Director? He was her guardian, yes, but she had always felt that he had ulterior motives toward her, too. "Just ... don't challenge him."

He nodded, considering her words seriously. "I'll remember that."

For just a moment, he yielded to temptation; put his arm back around her and gave her a quick, complete hug.

Then, very regretfully, he moved away, and rolled to the side of the bed, to sit up. "When's your first test? See who should get the 'fresher first."

How could she possibly begin to say he wants me for himself without absolutely ruining this lovely, quiet moment? Maybe she would be ready to talk about their relationship at some point, but this morning was not that time.

She hummed softly as she accepted the hug, and sighed once there was some distance between them, following suit and sitting up, stretching her back and shoulders in preparation of getting up.

"You win the honor today. Go, go, I'll get some caf started."

He sensed there was a lot going unsaid—which only made sense. They were building this relationship tier by tier, and the most difficult things hadn't been earned yet. Someday. (…If he wasn't pulled out of this mission first. …For the first time since coming here, he hoped not.)

He grinned his thanks. "I won't be long." And snagged a fresh shirt, undergarments, and his uniform on his way, to change in the 'fresher.

Jyn didn't even know if the most difficult things were even within her capability to share. But this was day one of a lifetime, and perhaps they would get there, with far more time and trust under their belts.

But Jyn thought that not only the dinner conversation they had had, but also the night they had spent was a good first few steps. She hoped, anyway.

She forced herself up, and gathered her own clothing for the day. Once that was done, she made her way out to the living area, where she set to making that caf - and even though she wasn't much of a cook, the pantry and conservator were stocked, just as she had assumed, and it wasn't much of a hardship to set out some fresh fruit and biscuits.

Not much of a breakfast, but an attempt.

True to his word, Cassian was out of the 'fresher quickly: someone used to getting ready at the drop of a siren. He let his uniform jacket hang open, putting off getting entirely in character for the day. Their shared quarters were going to be a place of comfort—a prospect that, miraculously, was already happening.

He made a sound of appreciation as he made for the caf. It was a very nice breakfast. He was just as used to subsiding on ration cubes, or nothing.

Jyn still looked rumpled from sleep. But all it would take to fix that was a quick shower before she, too, would be in uniform and ready to start her day proper.

But for as long as she could this morning, she wanted to enjoy just feeling like herself, comfortable and ... verging on happy; a feeling she wasn't truly accustomed to.

Strange, the difference a day makes.

"Gonna jump in the shower", she muttered between bites of a sour citrus fruit. "You might be gone by the time I'm done."

This isn't goodbye, it's we'll see each other later.

"Then—" He reached across the table to touch her hand. "Good luck on your tests. I'll see you tonight."

"Yes - ", she replied, grateful for the reassurance, not only that she would do well with the tests, but also that she wasn't the only one looking forward to later. "You will. Until then."

Reluctantly, she had to break the contact, otherwise she would get a much later start than she had anticipated. But as she made her way toward the 'fresher, it was with a new little spring in her step.

* * *

Several days passed. For the first time in years, Cassian lost track of how many. When he wasn't on duty, he was with Jyn: talking, not talking, holding each other while they slept. They were the deepest he'd slept in what felt like his whole life.

Tonight would be different. They were finding their footing surprisingly well with married life while in private. Tonight, for the first time since the wedding itself, they'd have to be a couple in public. Technically, Cassian was still on duty, so he'd be attending to Admiral Grendreef. But there was no mistake: many of the eyes would be on them.

Back into the formal uniform for him; but he couldn't complain, the expectations on Jyn would always be heavier and more complicated.

As they walked together into the hall, even knowing the night of playacting they probably had in front of them, he felt unexpectedly bolstered having her on his arm. It was easier to stand up straight at her side.

The best part of Jyn's day was coming home again. When she had begun thinking of the apartment as home, she didn't know, but it only really felt that way when she thought about sharing it with Joreth.

For the most part, they had fallen into some comfortable rhythms, and she found herself looking forward to the time they spent together, whether it was talking, in companionable silence, but especially when evening came and it was time to go to bed - together. Nothing other than sleep had happened, not that it was anyone's business, but there was something very comforting and familiar about holding each other through the night, and Jyn, too, had never slept as well.

Tonight, though, would be different. Tonight, there would be new roles to play as they navigated through her Uncle's celebratory soiree. Many higher ups would be in attendance, along with patrons who supported their research and development, and she knew very well that she would be expected to make a good impression. She was, after all, living proof of what those donations did - encourage and nurture the fine young minds of the next generation of Empire scientists and engineers. So, for as much as she would rather stay in reading or watching holos or anything else, she knew that the next few hours were going to be spent in a pretentious sort of hell.

She hated that she would be shown off as though she was little more than a prized piece of livestock. She hated that she was expected to look and behave like a complete stranger. She hated that she was expected to grin and bear it until she could be free again - at least until the next time she was summoned to play her well-practiced roles once again.

At least - and maybe she was selfish for thinking it - she wouldn't be alone this time around. She sighed and gently squeezed Joreth's arm, glancing down at the dress specially chosen for her tonight. "Are you ready?"

He put his hand over hers on his arm and squeezed back. "Are you?"

"I hate these things", she grimaced, shaking her head slightly. "All of this - it's just not me."

He was a career man, though, and she worried that her complaints were falling on deaf ears. Even though he had been nothing but understanding and ... seemingly accepting of who she was, she still wondered about what pieces of information she should be holding close to her chest.

None of this is me.

"Me neither," he murmured back. "I wish the job was just the work. At least we're on a team, now."

Somehow, it was exactly the right thing to say, and although Jyn was still wound up tightly, it still felt reassuring to know that in this, too, she was not alone.

"Yes, we are. But somehow, I don't think we'll be able to stick together very long. You've got work to attend to and I - I suppose it's my job to be charming."

She snorted softly, rolling her eyes.

Charming. What a joke.

He gave a compressed smile back. "Well, when it's over, we can go home and be offputting."

"Yes, I suppose we can", Jyn replied, marginally more amused than she had been moments before. Truth be told, the only way she was going to get through this was by remembering that they would be able to leave and decompress together later.

They neared the party, and Jyn could feel her tension rolling off of her in waves.

"I like being offputting with you."

He leaned in to put his mouth closer to her ear and said quietly, like sharing a secret, "You haven't been, yet." He straightened, brushing a crease out of his jacket, and met her eyes to confirm. Before stepping into the big room.

"Give me time", she answered, a little breathless, a little flushed, perhaps exactly what was expected of newlyweds. "I'm sure I'll find a way."

She nodded slightly, her grip on his arm tightening just a bit more. The party awaited.

He was always captured when she looked at him like that. The idea that it was something he'd said that had done it…

He pushed it down, as usual. But felt hyperaware of their points of contact—her fingers, his arm—as they joined the party.

Before starting this assignment, Cassian had been given a lot of new training. A lot of it just to fit in on Coruscant to a degree he'd never had to before. One lesson had been given by Mon Mothma herself: how to do Core ballroom dancing. He'd been to a number of events already, danced with quite a few people. He didn't imagine he'd be expected to that anymore; he'd only have to dance with Jyn. It only occurred to him now that he should have asked how she even felt about dancing.

It also occurred to him that they might be expected to kiss at some point in the night. And maybe they would have preferred to have their first kiss be one they actually chose, for themselves and one another, not for an audience. But don't worry about that now, unless/until it comes up.

To start, they stuck together working their way through the room. Cassian brought them over to where he'd spotted Admiral and Mrs. Grendreef, presented Jyn to them (as if they didn't know her). Had Grendreef make the jaw-clenching suggestion that, later in the night, they'd have to share a dance, only with Grendreef dancing with Jyn and Cassian dancing with Aune. There didn't seem to be a way not to agree. Again, though, one thing at a time. And first there were more people to meet and greet.

Sometimes, when Jyn was observing Joreth particularly closely, she caught sight of a surprise in his expression that made her feel ... a comfortable warmth slowly beginning to grow in the pit of her belly.

She hardly knew what it meant, but she knew one thing - for as much as she had wanted to hate him on principle alone, she didn't.

She was grateful for his steadfast presence as they made their way through the room, exchanging pleasantries as they did, Jyn's smile plastered on her face, clearly not reaching her eyes - not that anyone really noticed, not that anyone really cared.

All this was about was posturing and preening and lauding each other's accomplishments.

Jyn knew that she and Joreth would probably be expected to take to the dance floor at least once during the course of the night. Dancing had never been her favorite pastime, but somehow, the prospect of doing it with him didn't seem quite so daunting.

(The expected public display of affection ... less so. Jyn knew that she would rather their first kiss to be one that was real and wanted by both of them, shared in private where they didn't have to act in front of an audience. But no need to worry about that now, she would just have to wait to see if or when it happened to come up.)

They made their way through the crowd quickly enough, taking a detour to greet and Admiral and his wife, who she was indeed acquainted with. The conversation was pleasant enough, and although Jyn wasn't exactly pleased with the idea of sharing a dance later, there really was no delicate way of declining the offer.

But more than that, her stomach turned to see the covetous glance the Admiral's wife was directing Joreth's way - and Jyn was keen enough to consider what that might have meant in terms of his duties with the family.

"I'm sorry", she offered, smiling apologetically. "We have yet to greet my Uncle, and I'm sure he wants to speak with us. We'll catch up again later for those dances."

Grendreef let them go amiably enough; his wife, a bit frigidly, but no more than could be misconstrued as elitist boredom. Cassian didn't show what he was thinking or feeling. But Jyn, so close to him, might be able to feel the slightest loosening of tension in him.

"After you," he murmured to her.

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