Going into details would either require lies or stray into cover-threatening territory, so he dropped it. Instead, he folded his hands on the table and signaled the change of tone with another smile. "Your turn. What would you name a tooka cat and why?"
Jyn had so many follow-up questions, but she was observant enough to know when to drop them and to concentrate on other things entirely. Still, she felt that maybe, he could understand her, at least a little.
"Oh, that's impossible to determine without meeting them and getting to know their disposition first. I would hate to name it Sunny if it was actually very grumpy. Although I've never known a grumpy took cat before, have you?"
He wished he could tell her about Lothal and the loth-cats. But anything that could be easily looked up was a no-go.
Ah, but he could borrow, from the Organas of Alderaan— "A friend of mine had an aunt with four tooka cats. My friend was allowed to name one of them. Their names were Fluffy, Taffy, Muffy, and AT-AV*."
[*All-Terrain Attack Vehicle a Princess Leia story from the EU, by Barbara Hambley]
Jyn's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and soon after, she laughed - a long, loud, pleased noise , one that she hadn't offered anyone in ...
Well. As long as she could remember.
"Don't tell me, AT-AV was the cuddliest one of all? To be honest, I think I prefer that name to the others. Did you have pets as a child? Do you have siblings?"
That was a wonderful sound. He wanted to make her make it again.
"I never met them," he admitted, "but my friend loved Avie very much."
For pets or siblings: "No, neither."
…this was a bad idea… skirting the edges… but… "I had a droid. A KX security model. …I was a lonely kid." (Both true facts if actually unrelated. But let it evoke the image of a child befriending an enforcer.)
"Good. That's good", she replied, nodding gently. "I'm sure they loved your friend, too."
Jyn had a difficult time picturing little Joreth with a security droid for a friend. That seemed exceptionally sad to her, but then, she hadn't grown up with siblings, either. And after a while, she wouldn't even say that she had many friends - real, true ones, in any case.
Just herself and her imagination.
"I know what that's like, being lonely. What happened with your droid?"
On the one hand: how wonderful, that she'd had that kind of relationship with a parent. On the other hand… also sounded terribly lonely.
What had he wanted to be… there was no honest answer to that. He'd been a soldier. He didn't want things for himself. And he hadn't expected to grow up.
Sward's answer, though, was easy. "An admiral of my own ship." Boring answer, anyway. "What kind of holos do you like?"
For most of what little time she had been granted with her father, he had been busy working or grieving the loss of her mother. So it hadn't been as wonderful as she might have made it sound.
Still, she missed him deeply.
"Ah - ", she answered, shrugging. "You're a career man, then." That wasn't much of a surprise to hear - he wouldn't have married her if it hadn't been a chance for advancement. "I ... wasn't allowed to watch very many of them when I was little, so ... I like them all. Fantasy adventures, whatever is easiest to get lost in."
Wasn't allowed…? He opened his mouth to follow up, but that was when their meals arrived.
Cassian was relieved to find he could eat, now, without much forcing. Though he was far more interested in continuing the… game, or whatever it was, with Jyn. He waited, though, 'til the server was safely gone. "What did you want to be when you grew up?"
Wasn't allowed. Lonely, sheltered, and also made to spend most of her time studying, encouraged to nurture what was sure to be an exceptional intellect, inherited from her parents - both of them.
Jyn wasn't starving, for sure, but when her plate was set in front of her, she found that her stomach growled softly nonetheless. At least she could try to enjoy her food without forcing herself to do so.
"I don't know if I wanted to be any one thing in particular, but I - ", here she paused, trying to gauge him carefully, how he might react to hearing the truth. "I suppose what I dreamed about the most was sneaking onto some ship heading anywhere and just ... traveling."
She shrugged, huffed out a breath, and focused on her food. "Do you have any hobbies?"
It was a tempting offer - and Jyn didn't know yet if Joreth was the type of man who didn't deserve a runaway wife, but if she had the chance -
If there was even a hint of opportunity ...
She might disappear and never even think about returning.
If there was a whisper of breathlessness in her voice, Jyn brought no attention to it. "I don't know - I hear Naboo has unparalleled beauty. Where would you want to go?"
Jyn was already daydreaming about jumping ship and making a run for it. It would never come to pass, of course, not with so many eyes on her, courtesy of the Director, but it made for a nice dream, regardless.
At least until she woke and realized just how trapped she still was.
Yavin 4 Fest Alderaan Kashyyyk Charissia Pakrik Minor
"I really don't know," he said. "I guess I" [Sward] "would like, someday, to find somewhere new."
He looked into her eyes again, with the same intensity of wanting her to see he meant it. "I'm serious about Naboo, if you are. Shall we talk about it again after we've had a chance to—" (sleep on it) "—think about it?"
It was really all that Jyn wanted, too. Unfortunately, she was of the belief that no matter where she went, she would never truly be out of the Empire's reach.
After a moment - when she remembered how to - Jyn nodded her agreement. "I would like that, thank you. Maybe my uncle will be kind and allow me the time."
Jyn tried not to show her disdain for the man that had practically raised her (kept her captive) but there was no helping the bitterness that colored her tone. "Well. I am his protege, after all."
Cassian's frown morphed into one raised eyebrow. "Okay… but in terms of legality and societal expectation…" How could he put this in a way he found tolerable? "…I'm pretty sure you can now use me as an excuse to not comply to all his wishes."
Had they not just had a little bit of a conversation about how Jyn hadn't chosen whether or not she wanted to be married? Jyn feared that she would always find herself under the Director's thumb. "In any case, it's probably worth a try. Just - don't be surprised if my time off requests are denied."
It occurred to him to try and say this out loud. Though once again, it was tough.
He set down his fork and leaned forward, not entirely looking at her, keeping his voice very low.
"I don't want this to be the power dynamic between us. But as far as anyone else needs to know our business…" [Imperial] "law and custom is that husband outranks any other male family member in control over a woman's life."
(Made him feel dirty even saying it, but it wouldn't Sward.)
"If you could avoid doing anything that would get me—" as Sward, he had to include— "demoted," but mainly: "arrested or executed, that would be great. But… since we're not actually going to do things that way… you can use it. I'm not going to try to tell you what to do. But I can always be your alibi to empower whatever you choose to do. …Do you get what I'm trying to say?"
Jyn couldn't decide whether she could trust Joreth or not. What if Krennic had already recruited him as another handler? What if he was just trying to win her trust until she inevitably made a mistake and got caught doing so?
He couldn't possibly care this much about a woman he had known a few short handful of hours. And what reward was he expecting for saying such things, offering her the only sense of freedom she might ever now?
She rankled a bit at the bit about power dynamics, but she knew it was true. Women, even highly lauded ones, were not seen as equal to their spouses. So even though she was the more decorated of the two, she was still considered a second-class citizen.
"He's not even my real uncle - ", she found herself saying, in the moment before she caught herself and zipped her lips. "Why? Why would you do that for me?"
He shrugged, still not quite looking at her, looking uncomfortable.
(Which he was, for all the reasons, but he was letting it show because this was Sward going a little against the Imperial grain.)
"Our marriage benefits me. We both know how. It does that no matter how we actually treat each other. Seems only fair it benefit you, too. Right? —In any case, I'm not going to do it any other way. I don't want power over you. I've never understood how anyone can… enjoy that.
"…I see this going one of two ways: we keep out of each other's way, or we actually… become… I dunno. Friends. Either way, we conduct our own lives. With the extra status this—" again, he gestured to both of them "—gives us. I don't know about you, but I don't see it helping my career to come home to feeling horrible about each other and ourselves."
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Going into details would either require lies or stray into cover-threatening territory, so he dropped it. Instead, he folded his hands on the table and signaled the change of tone with another smile. "Your turn. What would you name a tooka cat and why?"
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"Oh, that's impossible to determine without meeting them and getting to know their disposition first. I would hate to name it Sunny if it was actually very grumpy. Although I've never known a grumpy took cat before, have you?"
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Ah, but he could borrow, from the Organas of Alderaan— "A friend of mine had an aunt with four tooka cats. My friend was allowed to name one of them. Their names were Fluffy, Taffy, Muffy, and AT-AV*."
[*All-Terrain Attack Vehicle
a Princess Leia story from the EU, by Barbara Hambley]
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Well. As long as she could remember.
"Don't tell me, AT-AV was the cuddliest one of all? To be honest, I think I prefer that name to the others. Did you have pets as a child? Do you have siblings?"
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"I never met them," he admitted, "but my friend loved Avie very much."
For pets or siblings: "No, neither."
…this was a bad idea… skirting the edges… but… "I had a droid. A KX security model. …I was a lonely kid." (Both true facts if actually unrelated. But let it evoke the image of a child befriending an enforcer.)
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Jyn had a difficult time picturing little Joreth with a security droid for a friend. That seemed exceptionally sad to her, but then, she hadn't grown up with siblings, either. And after a while, she wouldn't even say that she had many friends - real, true ones, in any case.
Just herself and her imagination.
"I know what that's like, being lonely. What happened with your droid?"
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(In their hidden shuttle, embedded in the city. Shhh.)
"Your best friend, growing up?"
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"My Papa. But ... he's stationed elsewhere, so I haven't seen him in quite some time. We correspond sometimes, but ... "
It wasn't enough. She missed him. And she didn't want to think about it.
"What did you want to be when you grew up?"
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What had he wanted to be… there was no honest answer to that. He'd been a soldier. He didn't want things for himself. And he hadn't expected to grow up.
Sward's answer, though, was easy. "An admiral of my own ship." Boring answer, anyway. "What kind of holos do you like?"
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Still, she missed him deeply.
"Ah - ", she answered, shrugging. "You're a career man, then." That wasn't much of a surprise to hear - he wouldn't have married her if it hadn't been a chance for advancement. "I ... wasn't allowed to watch very many of them when I was little, so ... I like them all. Fantasy adventures, whatever is easiest to get lost in."
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Cassian was relieved to find he could eat, now, without much forcing. Though he was far more interested in continuing the… game, or whatever it was, with Jyn. He waited, though, 'til the server was safely gone. "What did you want to be when you grew up?"
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Jyn wasn't starving, for sure, but when her plate was set in front of her, she found that her stomach growled softly nonetheless. At least she could try to enjoy her food without forcing herself to do so.
"I don't know if I wanted to be any one thing in particular, but I - ", here she paused, trying to gauge him carefully, how he might react to hearing the truth. "I suppose what I dreamed about the most was sneaking onto some ship heading anywhere and just ... traveling."
She shrugged, huffed out a breath, and focused on her food. "Do you have any hobbies?"
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Can't take anyone with you.
…At least, don't think about it right now.
But…
Cassian looked at her thoughtfully. "You know… we're allowed a honeymoon. I hadn't thought about it, but… If you could go anywhere…?"
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If there was even a hint of opportunity ...
She might disappear and never even think about returning.
If there was a whisper of breathlessness in her voice, Jyn brought no attention to it. "I don't know - I hear Naboo has unparalleled beauty. Where would you want to go?"
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"Naboo would work for me," he answered. "I've never been there."
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At least until she woke and realized just how trapped she still was.
"Where would you go, if you could?"
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Fest
Alderaan
Kashyyyk
Charissia
Pakrik Minor
"I really don't know," he said. "I guess I" [Sward] "would like, someday, to find somewhere new."
He looked into her eyes again, with the same intensity of wanting her to see he meant it. "I'm serious about Naboo, if you are. Shall we talk about it again after we've had a chance to—" (sleep on it) "—think about it?"
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It was really all that Jyn wanted, too. Unfortunately, she was of the belief that no matter where she went, she would never truly be out of the Empire's reach.
After a moment - when she remembered how to - Jyn nodded her agreement. "I would like that, thank you. Maybe my uncle will be kind and allow me the time."
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It occurred to him to try and say this out loud. Though once again, it was tough.
He set down his fork and leaned forward, not entirely looking at her, keeping his voice very low.
"I don't want this to be the power dynamic between us. But as far as anyone else needs to know our business…" [Imperial] "law and custom is that husband outranks any other male family member in control over a woman's life."
(Made him feel dirty even saying it, but it wouldn't Sward.)
"If you could avoid doing anything that would get me—" as Sward, he had to include— "demoted," but mainly: "arrested or executed, that would be great. But… since we're not actually going to do things that way… you can use it. I'm not going to try to tell you what to do. But I can always be your alibi to empower whatever you choose to do. …Do you get what I'm trying to say?"
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He couldn't possibly care this much about a woman he had known a few short handful of hours. And what reward was he expecting for saying such things, offering her the only sense of freedom she might ever now?
She rankled a bit at the bit about power dynamics, but she knew it was true. Women, even highly lauded ones, were not seen as equal to their spouses. So even though she was the more decorated of the two, she was still considered a second-class citizen.
"He's not even my real uncle - ", she found herself saying, in the moment before she caught herself and zipped her lips. "Why? Why would you do that for me?"
What do you want in return?
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(Which he was, for all the reasons, but he was letting it show because this was Sward going a little against the Imperial grain.)
"Our marriage benefits me. We both know how. It does that no matter how we actually treat each other. Seems only fair it benefit you, too. Right? —In any case, I'm not going to do it any other way. I don't want power over you. I've never understood how anyone can… enjoy that.
"…I see this going one of two ways: we keep out of each other's way, or we actually… become… I dunno. Friends. Either way, we conduct our own lives. With the extra status this—" again, he gestured to both of them "—gives us. I don't know about you, but I don't see it helping my career to come home to feeling horrible about each other and ourselves."
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cw: past violence & noncon -- LMK if this is okay?
hahaha who needs a heart anyway
d'awww <3
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