candor1 | Open RP Post

From:

"I didn't think so," he whispered back, his other hand playing with her hair, his eyes deeply searching hers: sky black and stardust. "I didn't really believe in the Force. I thought… superstition or… confirmation bias or… something separate from those who talked about it. But now I think… there was never a division intended. We are the Force, or a part of it, as much as anything else. And everything in my life led up to meeting you. So… yeah. Because of you, I believe in the Force now. So I believe in destiny."

From:

shiningstardust

"I don't think that I wanted to believe that everything happened for a reason - ", she ventured, a little knot of concentration forming between her eyebrows, "Because of all that I'd lost. It didn't make sense, I couldn't fathom what it was all leading me toward. And even after I met you ... I still couldn't put it all together. Not until you told me 'welcome home' and probably not until you saved my life on Scarif. But I have to believe that everything was pointing me here, toward you, with you, because I am so happy, and I don't feel alone anymore, and I - yes, I believe that we were always meant to be."

From:

candor1

"Me too," he agreed, ears still ringing and skin flushed that his words could have had such an effect on her. "If I believed in the Force, I'd have to accept reasons for all the terrible things… so I refused. I still refuse to believe it's anyone's will or plan or have these horrible things happen. But in spite of them… here we are. In spite of lives alone and everything stolen from us, we could find… us. Something restored. That's a Force I can believe in."

From:

shiningstardust

Jyn was silent for a moment before she sighed heavily and clutched at Cassian a little tighter. "I'm still so angry and still so hurt, and I can't understand so much of what I've gone through - "

She needed a moment to catch her breath, but once she did, she was able to continue. "You're not a replacement for what I've lost, but you are something good in the midst of all the bad. I want the chance to have a life with you. I want the chance to build something good for us, and I ... "

She shook her head, and laughed softly, a little overcome. "I don't want to have to hide anymore."

From:

candor1

That's why he'd needed to tell her about his past. His fear that he wasn't inherently something good. But she knew that now and said it anyway, so for her, he would be.

Exhaling gently, he brushed her hair back from her face. "You still feel like you're hiding? Here with the Alliance?"

From:

shiningstardust

Jyn didn't always believe herself worthy of Cassian's love and devotion, but she was trying. And knowing that he felt the same, she made it a point to reiterate that he was her something good, and tried very hard to believe that she could be that for him, too.

"Every day, I feel a little more certain that I'm where I need to be", she slowly replied, searching out more of his touch. "I feel like I'm hiding us ... and I don't know why I'm so afraid to just be open with it all."

From:

candor1

One of those small, slow smiles crept onto Cassian's face, that was so subtle yet transformed it utterly.

"Shall we go tell Draven right now?" he asked. It was hard to tell if he was teasing or serious.

From:

shiningstardust

Jyn couldn't help the way her lips tugged up into a small, secret smile, as well. It was hard to resist wanting to return Cassian's smile - the one that was so tiny but still meant so much, showed so much.

"It can wait - let him have his caf first", she replied, mostly teasing but maybe just a little serious. "I'd rather stay here with you."

From:

candor1

He hugged her close and kissed her; the back of her neck where her short hairs tickled his face, behind her ear, down the side of her throat.

From:

shiningstardust

She sighed and relaxed just a little more thoroughly, happy to lean against him as she pressed those kisses everywhere he thought to, every place he wanted to leave a little of himself behind.

"... I don't ever want to leave you again."

From:

candor1

His hand rested low on her stomach. The other crossed her chest to gently grasp her shoulder and hold her against his beating heart. He closed his eyes into her hair, kissing her hair and whispering into it, "If I have any say in it, as long as I'm alive, I'm yours. I'll never leave you." That much he'd proven already. This next perhaps needed saying more: "And I'll never lie to you."

From:

shiningstardust

Jyn enjoyed the silence for a long moment, how gently Cassian gathered her close and held her steady, how she could feel sure hands and strong heartbeat and know that they were being given to her just as thoroughly as Cassian's whispered reassurances.

She knew that he meant them - that they weren't just meaningless platitudes. He'd proven time and again, after all, that he would always come back for her, and that was ... well, Jyn didn't know how to show her gratitude in words.

She hoped that by staying, he knew that she felt exactly the same.

"I know", she murmured, her still-shaky fingertips tracing circles into the warm skin of his arm. "You are my home. I promise, if I have to leave, I'll always return."

Jyn breathed out a softly amused little noise, her voice just touch embarrassed when she continued - "Does this mean I can move in with you now?"

From:

candor1

He clasped her shaking hand in one of his, kissed each of her fingertips, his whole body shaking with silent relieved laughter.

"Yes," he said, "god yes, please. You're my home, too."

From:

shiningstardust

She breathed out a noise that was almost a chuckle, but the way that she finally offered a smile, as small and as fleeting as it turned out to be was at least a hint of proof that she was feeling a little more certain, a little more sure of what she wanted.

"I love you, Cassian. More than anything."

From:

candor1

He was silent for a moment, his lips pressed to her hair. Then he murmured a stream of something in a language Jyn didn't know—his native language? before repeating, "I love you, Jyn. I don't know if I've ever loved anyone before."

From:

shiningstardust

Someday, Jyn would ask Cassian to teach her - at least how to say the important things, to have something to share with him from his homeworld, but now wasn't quite the time. "It's terrifying, isn't it? Loving someone, I mean. I don't know what I'm doing, but I do know that all I want is to be with you for as long as I can have you."

From:

candor1

His arms tightened slightly around her. His heart was fluttering like a trapped bird.

"How do people do it?" he asked in agreement.

He thought of Baze and Chirrut. Added thoughtfully, "Maybe that's why we need to believe in the Force. Believe there is ultimately no parting."

From:

shiningstardust

Jyn was silent for a long moment as she let Cassian's words settle in her heart - settle and ignite a new hope, that even if this life wasn't meant for them, there would be others, that no matter what happened at the end, they'd still find each other.

"... Have faith that we have a bond that won't be broken."

From:

candor1

"Well, that's easy." He turned them both so he was slightly over her and kissed her mouth. He wouldn't say more: that the problem was greediness for being able to live and explore the bond with her, alive, but that wasn't requisite for the bond itself to be eternal. It just wasn't worth thinking about, lest he lose time with her worrying about losing time with her. He'd lived in war enough to know how not to do that. If they'd died on the beach at Scarif, he would have been grateful for having known her, exchanging a touch and a trust and embrace. He only hoped whenever he did die, in the end, it might still be at her side.

From:

shiningstardust

Jyn laughed then - the ghost of a noise, but softly amused nonetheless. She knew that neither one of them could make any promises, and while she wasn't certain that she accepted it, per se, knew that in such an uncertain time rife with war and loss and never knowing what moment might be her last, she could not obsess over what tomorrow might bring when instead, she should be reveling in these moments when they came.

So she was grateful when nothing more was said, and instead, she could concentrate on the press of Cassian's lips to hers, and she could wind her arms around him to tug him closer, to feel his warmth, how real he was, to remind herself that they had this, and it was more than she ever could have asked for.

From:

candor1

As the kiss deepened… he began to harden, and broke it off and twisted his lower body away from her. The look on his face might be called blushing. "Sorry," he murmured, "you can ignore that…"

From:

shiningstardust

Jyn breathed out a noise that could only be called amused, but didn't move away or even seem the least bit bothered. The wanting, it seemed, never really went away.

"And what if I don't want to?", she asked, a hope, a challenge, both all at the same time.

Of course, if Cassian did want to, she would be perfectly content spending these early hours kissing, or talking, or trying to find some more rest without trying to run away without being caught doing so.

From:

candor1

Slowly, perhaps carefully, he turned to face her fully once more, pressing the length of his body against hers, hardness and all.

"Is that what you're saying?" he murmured, his hand moving down her stomach, his lips on her ear.

From:

shiningstardust

Jyn was learning just how much of an unbearable tease Cassian could be, and it seemed that now, she was about to receive another lesson. He leaned into her, and she leaned right back, a sigh escaping her lips in the wake of his touch, his breath against her ear.

"It is."

From:

candor1

His hand dipped below her waistband, thumb trailing her stomach, palm flat against her, fingers searching, until one found the spot it wanted and proceeded to lavish her there.

It was more than teasing… consent had never been allowed to be an issue for himself in Cassian's ~~sex life~~ work, and he wanted to make sure it was always clear between him and Jyn. But now that she'd given it…

His fingertip, rough and calloused from years of triggers, was like water upon her, smooth and continuous. His soft lips, rough cheek, and barest hint of teeth worked on her neck.