She sighed and relaxed just a little more thoroughly, happy to lean against him as she pressed those kisses everywhere he thought to, every place he wanted to leave a little of himself behind.
His hand rested low on her stomach. The other crossed her chest to gently grasp her shoulder and hold her against his beating heart. He closed his eyes into her hair, kissing her hair and whispering into it, "If I have any say in it, as long as I'm alive, I'm yours. I'll never leave you." That much he'd proven already. This next perhaps needed saying more: "And I'll never lie to you."
Jyn enjoyed the silence for a long moment, how gently Cassian gathered her close and held her steady, how she could feel sure hands and strong heartbeat and know that they were being given to her just as thoroughly as Cassian's whispered reassurances.
She knew that he meant them - that they weren't just meaningless platitudes. He'd proven time and again, after all, that he would always come back for her, and that was ... well, Jyn didn't know how to show her gratitude in words.
She hoped that by staying, he knew that she felt exactly the same.
"I know", she murmured, her still-shaky fingertips tracing circles into the warm skin of his arm. "You are my home. I promise, if I have to leave, I'll always return."
Jyn breathed out a softly amused little noise, her voice just touch embarrassed when she continued - "Does this mean I can move in with you now?"
She breathed out a noise that was almost a chuckle, but the way that she finally offered a smile, as small and as fleeting as it turned out to be was at least a hint of proof that she was feeling a little more certain, a little more sure of what she wanted.
He was silent for a moment, his lips pressed to her hair. Then he murmured a stream of something in a language Jyn didn't know—his native language? before repeating, "I love you, Jyn. I don't know if I've ever loved anyone before."
Someday, Jyn would ask Cassian to teach her - at least how to say the important things, to have something to share with him from his homeworld, but now wasn't quite the time. "It's terrifying, isn't it? Loving someone, I mean. I don't know what I'm doing, but I do know that all I want is to be with you for as long as I can have you."
Jyn was silent for a long moment as she let Cassian's words settle in her heart - settle and ignite a new hope, that even if this life wasn't meant for them, there would be others, that no matter what happened at the end, they'd still find each other.
"... Have faith that we have a bond that won't be broken."
"Well, that's easy." He turned them both so he was slightly over her and kissed her mouth. He wouldn't say more: that the problem was greediness for being able to live and explore the bond with her, alive, but that wasn't requisite for the bond itself to be eternal. It just wasn't worth thinking about, lest he lose time with her worrying about losing time with her. He'd lived in war enough to know how not to do that. If they'd died on the beach at Scarif, he would have been grateful for having known her, exchanging a touch and a trust and embrace. He only hoped whenever he did die, in the end, it might still be at her side.
Jyn laughed then - the ghost of a noise, but softly amused nonetheless. She knew that neither one of them could make any promises, and while she wasn't certain that she accepted it, per se, knew that in such an uncertain time rife with war and loss and never knowing what moment might be her last, she could not obsess over what tomorrow might bring when instead, she should be reveling in these moments when they came.
So she was grateful when nothing more was said, and instead, she could concentrate on the press of Cassian's lips to hers, and she could wind her arms around him to tug him closer, to feel his warmth, how real he was, to remind herself that they had this, and it was more than she ever could have asked for.
As the kiss deepened… he began to harden, and broke it off and twisted his lower body away from her. The look on his face might be called blushing. "Sorry," he murmured, "you can ignore that…"
Jyn breathed out a noise that could only be called amused, but didn't move away or even seem the least bit bothered. The wanting, it seemed, never really went away.
"And what if I don't want to?", she asked, a hope, a challenge, both all at the same time.
Of course, if Cassian did want to, she would be perfectly content spending these early hours kissing, or talking, or trying to find some more rest without trying to run away without being caught doing so.
Jyn was learning just how much of an unbearable tease Cassian could be, and it seemed that now, she was about to receive another lesson. He leaned into her, and she leaned right back, a sigh escaping her lips in the wake of his touch, his breath against her ear.
His hand dipped below her waistband, thumb trailing her stomach, palm flat against her, fingers searching, until one found the spot it wanted and proceeded to lavish her there.
It was more than teasing… consent had never been allowed to be an issue for himself in Cassian's sex life work, and he wanted to make sure it was always clear between him and Jyn. But now that she'd given it…
His fingertip, rough and calloused from years of triggers, was like water upon her, smooth and continuous. His soft lips, rough cheek, and barest hint of teeth worked on her neck.
He was so good with his hands, and Jyn thought she said as much, even though the only real noise she made was an (embarrassing) soft whimper as she involuntarily parted her legs a little wider, granting Cassian more room in which to touch her, to tease her in the only way he could.
She understood all too well his need to know that she wanted this with him, and that she wane him, and she found a sort of delight in giving her consent, and enthusiastically so every time he looked to her to give it.
Ambushed by so much stimulation all at once, there was little for Jyn to do but enjoy it, and her hips rocked against his hand restlessly, his name a gasp upon her lips.
The rolling of her hips against him was exquisite. He shifted his body to fully support and be kneaded by hers. He kissed her neck, behind her ear, and as he felt her getting close, murmured a foreign word in her ear: "Dámelo. Give it to me, Jyn."
Her skin felt like it was on fire in the aftermath of the kisses that he pressed against it, his breath against her ear a shock to her system, a slow tingle at the base of her spine traveling the length of it until she was shivering, desperate to hold on when it seemed that all he wanted was for her to let go.
"I'm gonna - ", she gasped, her body shaking harder from the strain of holding it all back, from holding everything back. "Cassian. Cassian! I - I'm ... "
Not long before, he'd begun grinding gently into her waves, riding them together, letting the motion of her body stimulate his own; letting the motion of his amplify hers. As she started shaking, he wrapped his free hand around her, almost protectively, an anchor no matter how unmoored she might feel. "Go on," he whispered, putting his lips to her ear. "Shields down."
He knew how to read her better than anyone had ever tried to before - knew exactly what she wanted, what she needed before she could even articulate in words. So, she moved against him, and he moved against her, and it was more than enough friction to bring her closer and closer to falling apart completely.
She was grateful when he held her a little tighter, a little more steadily, and she could rest against him more fully without fear of him letting go. She was safe here. She didn't need to feel afraid.
And as he urged her to lose herself to her pleasure, she stopped fighting it and just let it wash over her, his name the only thing she could think to cry out, over and over again.
Her release was enthralling and he buried his face in the curve of her shoulder and neck. His kiss there didn't distract from the dampness of his eyes.
"My Jyn," he whispered thickly, arms tightening again around her, body now still, matching his breathing to hers to help her come back down.
Jyn clutched at Cassian as wave after wave of sensation washed over her, each one a little less powerful than the last, stealing her breath and her strength. But Cassian held her tight and kept her safe and as she came back to herself a little at at a time, her grip lessened.
Slowly, she trailed her fingertips along the line of his shoulders, what little breath she had catching in her throat to hear the whispered sentiment - not claiming, but true nonetheless. She had willingly given Cassian her heart, her soul, whatever else she was made of. She was his.
[I'm so sorry I fell off the face of the planet, there! Any interest in continuing? Or starting something new? Or time-jumping from where we were? Sorry again!]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2018-10-11 06:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-10-12 04:59 am (UTC)"... I don't ever want to leave you again."
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Date: 2018-10-12 07:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-10-13 02:08 am (UTC)She knew that he meant them - that they weren't just meaningless platitudes. He'd proven time and again, after all, that he would always come back for her, and that was ... well, Jyn didn't know how to show her gratitude in words.
She hoped that by staying, he knew that she felt exactly the same.
"I know", she murmured, her still-shaky fingertips tracing circles into the warm skin of his arm. "You are my home. I promise, if I have to leave, I'll always return."
Jyn breathed out a softly amused little noise, her voice just touch embarrassed when she continued - "Does this mean I can move in with you now?"
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Date: 2018-10-14 12:44 am (UTC)"Yes," he said, "god yes, please. You're my home, too."
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Date: 2018-10-14 01:47 am (UTC)"I love you, Cassian. More than anything."
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Date: 2018-10-15 12:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-10-15 12:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-10-15 12:45 am (UTC)"How do people do it?" he asked in agreement.
He thought of Baze and Chirrut. Added thoughtfully, "Maybe that's why we need to believe in the Force. Believe there is ultimately no parting."
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Date: 2018-10-15 12:54 am (UTC)"... Have faith that we have a bond that won't be broken."
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Date: 2018-10-15 10:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-10-16 05:22 am (UTC)So she was grateful when nothing more was said, and instead, she could concentrate on the press of Cassian's lips to hers, and she could wind her arms around him to tug him closer, to feel his warmth, how real he was, to remind herself that they had this, and it was more than she ever could have asked for.
no subject
Date: 2018-10-16 09:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-10-17 04:23 am (UTC)"And what if I don't want to?", she asked, a hope, a challenge, both all at the same time.
Of course, if Cassian did want to, she would be perfectly content spending these early hours kissing, or talking, or trying to find some more rest without trying to run away without being caught doing so.
no subject
Date: 2018-10-19 08:42 pm (UTC)"Is that what you're saying?" he murmured, his hand moving down her stomach, his lips on her ear.
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Date: 2018-10-20 12:11 am (UTC)"It is."
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Date: 2018-10-20 11:06 pm (UTC)It was more than teasing… consent had never been allowed to be an issue for himself in Cassian's
sex lifework, and he wanted to make sure it was always clear between him and Jyn. But now that she'd given it…His fingertip, rough and calloused from years of triggers, was like water upon her, smooth and continuous. His soft lips, rough cheek, and barest hint of teeth worked on her neck.
no subject
Date: 2018-10-21 10:09 am (UTC)She understood all too well his need to know that she wanted this with him, and that she wane him, and she found a sort of delight in giving her consent, and enthusiastically so every time he looked to her to give it.
Ambushed by so much stimulation all at once, there was little for Jyn to do but enjoy it, and her hips rocked against his hand restlessly, his name a gasp upon her lips.
no subject
Date: 2018-10-27 02:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-10-29 05:29 am (UTC)"I'm gonna - ", she gasped, her body shaking harder from the strain of holding it all back, from holding everything back. "Cassian. Cassian! I - I'm ... "
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Date: 2018-10-30 12:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-10-30 07:37 am (UTC)She was grateful when he held her a little tighter, a little more steadily, and she could rest against him more fully without fear of him letting go. She was safe here. She didn't need to feel afraid.
And as he urged her to lose herself to her pleasure, she stopped fighting it and just let it wash over her, his name the only thing she could think to cry out, over and over again.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-02 12:05 am (UTC)"My Jyn," he whispered thickly, arms tightening again around her, body now still, matching his breathing to hers to help her come back down.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-02 07:38 am (UTC)Slowly, she trailed her fingertips along the line of his shoulders, what little breath she had catching in her throat to hear the whispered sentiment - not claiming, but true nonetheless. She had willingly given Cassian her heart, her soul, whatever else she was made of. She was his.
"My Cassian."
ooc note
Date: 2019-05-14 02:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
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From:holy broken coding batman! in my defense, i was really very tired last night
From:Aww! No worries!
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