It was hard to keep his eyes open, but he did until the door closed behind her.
Then at last he closed them, letting his head fall back, and his lips part to drag in deeper breaths.
…And stopped judging himself for it… how ludicrous, how strange, why here and now when he'd gotten so good at never allowing it elsewhere and elsewhen, why her, what the hell…
and just, in the safety of his own mind, allowed it.
Allowed imagining the feel of her in his arms, until the comfort of the fantasy let him fall into sleep.
Would it show how weak she truly was if she did? If she admitted that she wanted to be close, share comfort with each other? She felt weak, in any case. He was still a stranger and she was far more accustomed to being alone, even on a base full of people.
Ridiculous, the wanting.
She kept to the shadows until she was back in her quarters, where she stood underneath the spray of her shower until she could stand it no longer, and then collapsed into her bunk, alone.
She would sleep, but she wasn't sure she would find any rest. At least he could send a message to her datapad if he needed anything. The best thing she could do was prepare for the day ahead - her work, of course, but also procuring more items to assure Gabrael's continued survival.
That was progress. He drank all the water Jyn had left him and tried experimentally to stand and stretch. Just a little, very carefully, cataloging every part of his body. Not great, but better.
He also finally had the wherewithal to look around. He didn't search the place. …Much. Not to any strenuous extent. Not prying open resisting crates or even straying far from the cot. It wasn't so urgent; he wasn't a prisoner. He didn't need to look for weapons or tools or prepare tricks. Nonetheless—lulled as he was tempted to be in trusting Jyn, one should have contingencies. If she turned out to be deceiving him, or stopped showing up, because she'd been transferred, or thought she was being watched, or got caught—
He found himself hoping that, if it had to end badly, it would be her deceiving him. Bad for him, but preferable to her getting caught or imprisoned or killed—
These were strange, strange thoughts. He shouldn't give them any more focus.
Sitting back down, he picked up the datapad. He avoided any activity that would raise a flag for Imperial monitors. He just caught up on some general Galactic news. Infuriating as it was through Imperial filters. He knew their spin codes well enough to be able to interpret their reporting.
He thought about messaging Jyn. Just to confirm the line was open. He decided against it.
After a while, he set the datapad on some droning analysis of which minerals made the best droid parts. (—something that interested him that wouldn't be completely skewed, on Imperial channels; unlike news or history or language or culture—) And he tried to get back to the sleep. Sleep helped the body heal. The more of it, the quicker recovery.
He wasn't sure if he succeeded. He zoned in and out of the narration, but when the finally gave up and sat upright, he didn't feel much more rested.
He was, on the other hand, more concerned. Jyn had usually looked in by now.
He picked up the datapad again. Considered. And, this time, decided in favor.
To: J Erso Subject: lunch break
did you like the holonovel ? interested what you think . shifts allowing can discuss over meal ? - also, not to rush you but will need it back eventually . later - g
Every atom in Jyn's body vibrated with an urgency to get back to the storage shed to check that he'd made it through another night. But she had duties to attend to, and it would be noticed if she suddenly didn't show up.
She had to resist the urge to check her messages every few minutes even though if he did send a message, she would receive the notification. Strange, how deep the need to ensure his condition ran, but it was there as the minutes ticked by longer than they ever had before.
She had never had reason to trust anyone as much as she trusted Gabrael. And that was a mistake in and of itself, wasn't it? She didn't know him. What if this was some sort of complicated and convoluted ruse to catch her betrayinig the Empire, to finally have concrete reason for punishment much, much worse than another demotion?
The logical part of her brain insisted that no one in their right mind would willingly put themselves in harm's way - and he was very badly injured - just for the sake of sussing out personnel who were a little less than loyal. Anybody else would've turned him over to the proper authorities, but maybe Jyn wasn't just like everybody else.
Just as she was about to leave and begin the arduous task of procuring more supplies, Jyn was summoned to Requisitions, where she was tasked with assisting with some light (ie: hours long) boring, mundane inventory.
Thankfully, after all the wondering and worrying she did as she worked, when the message came in, she felt like she could breathe a sigh of relief. He was fine - as fine as he was going to be, given the circumstances, and he was checking up on her.
The response was returned quickly.
sorry for lateness. recruited to do inventory. will be available for discussion and a bite soon.
But first, the gathering of supplies that would see him safely through another night on base. Food, drinks, med supplies. It ended up being another nearly two hours before once more, she slipped into the storage room that housed her patient.
The comm drone had moved on from droid part minerals to Craft Talk with the Piston Brothers. A bit more strenuous, more like work, but still a distraction. They were wisecracking about the inherent balance problem of AT-AVs and how to compensate for it, when the door opened.
Cassian, having given up on pushing himself and lain back down, automatically tensed. Even though, if it were anyone but Jyn, there was no available action that could help him.
Belatedly, Jyn realized that the smartest thing to do was agree on a code - a word, a sentence, a specific noise - anything that would alleviate the uncertainty on both sides in the moments before she actually appeared within his range of sight.
But for now - "It's just me", spoken softly, just loud enough for him to hear was going to have to do.
Her footsteps were quick and quiet as she made her way from the entrance to the back corner, where she hoped she'd find him tucked away as safely as possible - and hopefully doing a little better than he'd been the day before.
He let himself fall back on the cot, relieved beyond what he should have been considering they'd already agreed on her visiting… but who could ever tell what might happen between last confirmations and showing up.
"You made it," he said, as if in the light idiomatic way, but also in real gratitude. He wouldn't take for granted how much she was risking every time she decided to come back.
Jyn could understand that particular relief. Anything could have happened from the time she left to the time she returned - Gabrael had been fighting a valiant battle to recover from his injuries, but who was to say that he wouldn't eventually take a turn for the worst? She didn't want to consider the possibility that she would arrive some afternoon and find him cold and unresponsive, but she was smart enough to realize that it could happen.
She just had to continue to count her lucky stars that they hadn't been caught yet, that there was still a chance that rescue could happen, that she could make her escape, too. It was the hope that kept her going day after day now, when she hadn't really had any before.
"Just like I promised", she replied, stripping her bag off and setting it down before she settled into her customary spot near the pallet. "Well? Any better today?"
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-12-10 08:38 am (UTC)Then at last he closed them, letting his head fall back, and his lips part to drag in deeper breaths.
…And stopped judging himself for it… how ludicrous, how strange, why here and now when he'd gotten so good at never allowing it elsewhere and elsewhen, why her, what the hell…
and just, in the safety of his own mind, allowed it.
Allowed imagining the feel of her in his arms, until the comfort of the fantasy let him fall into sleep.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-11 03:39 pm (UTC)Would it show how weak she truly was if she did? If she admitted that she wanted to be close, share comfort with each other? She felt weak, in any case. He was still a stranger and she was far more accustomed to being alone, even on a base full of people.
Ridiculous, the wanting.
She kept to the shadows until she was back in her quarters, where she stood underneath the spray of her shower until she could stand it no longer, and then collapsed into her bunk, alone.
She would sleep, but she wasn't sure she would find any rest. At least he could send a message to her datapad if he needed anything. The best thing she could do was prepare for the day ahead - her work, of course, but also procuring more items to assure Gabrael's continued survival.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-19 09:10 am (UTC)That was progress. He drank all the water Jyn had left him and tried experimentally to stand and stretch. Just a little, very carefully, cataloging every part of his body. Not great, but better.
He also finally had the wherewithal to look around. He didn't search the place. …Much. Not to any strenuous extent. Not prying open resisting crates or even straying far from the cot. It wasn't so urgent; he wasn't a prisoner. He didn't need to look for weapons or tools or prepare tricks. Nonetheless—lulled as he was tempted to be in trusting Jyn, one should have contingencies. If she turned out to be deceiving him, or stopped showing up, because she'd been transferred, or thought she was being watched, or got caught—
He found himself hoping that, if it had to end badly, it would be her deceiving him. Bad for him, but preferable to her getting caught or imprisoned or killed—
These were strange, strange thoughts. He shouldn't give them any more focus.
Sitting back down, he picked up the datapad. He avoided any activity that would raise a flag for Imperial monitors. He just caught up on some general Galactic news. Infuriating as it was through Imperial filters. He knew their spin codes well enough to be able to interpret their reporting.
He thought about messaging Jyn. Just to confirm the line was open. He decided against it.
After a while, he set the datapad on some droning analysis of which minerals made the best droid parts. (—something that interested him that wouldn't be completely skewed, on Imperial channels; unlike news or history or language or culture—) And he tried to get back to the sleep. Sleep helped the body heal. The more of it, the quicker recovery.
He wasn't sure if he succeeded. He zoned in and out of the narration, but when the finally gave up and sat upright, he didn't feel much more rested.
He was, on the other hand, more concerned. Jyn had usually looked in by now.
He picked up the datapad again. Considered. And, this time, decided in favor.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-12 07:49 pm (UTC)She had to resist the urge to check her messages every few minutes even though if he did send a message, she would receive the notification. Strange, how deep the need to ensure his condition ran, but it was there as the minutes ticked by longer than they ever had before.
She had never had reason to trust anyone as much as she trusted Gabrael. And that was a mistake in and of itself, wasn't it? She didn't know him. What if this was some sort of complicated and convoluted ruse to catch her betrayinig the Empire, to finally have concrete reason for punishment much, much worse than another demotion?
The logical part of her brain insisted that no one in their right mind would willingly put themselves in harm's way - and he was very badly injured - just for the sake of sussing out personnel who were a little less than loyal. Anybody else would've turned him over to the proper authorities, but maybe Jyn wasn't just like everybody else.
Just as she was about to leave and begin the arduous task of procuring more supplies, Jyn was summoned to Requisitions, where she was tasked with assisting with some light (ie: hours long) boring, mundane inventory.
Thankfully, after all the wondering and worrying she did as she worked, when the message came in, she felt like she could breathe a sigh of relief. He was fine - as fine as he was going to be, given the circumstances, and he was checking up on her.
The response was returned quickly.
sorry for lateness. recruited to do inventory. will be available for discussion and a bite soon.
But first, the gathering of supplies that would see him safely through another night on base. Food, drinks, med supplies. It ended up being another nearly two hours before once more, she slipped into the storage room that housed her patient.
Her ... friend?
no subject
Date: 2020-02-13 12:10 pm (UTC)Cassian, having given up on pushing himself and lain back down, automatically tensed. Even though, if it were anyone but Jyn, there was no available action that could help him.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-13 02:25 pm (UTC)But for now - "It's just me", spoken softly, just loud enough for him to hear was going to have to do.
Her footsteps were quick and quiet as she made her way from the entrance to the back corner, where she hoped she'd find him tucked away as safely as possible - and hopefully doing a little better than he'd been the day before.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-03 06:26 am (UTC)"You made it," he said, as if in the light idiomatic way, but also in real gratitude. He wouldn't take for granted how much she was risking every time she decided to come back.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-04 07:11 am (UTC)She just had to continue to count her lucky stars that they hadn't been caught yet, that there was still a chance that rescue could happen, that she could make her escape, too. It was the hope that kept her going day after day now, when she hadn't really had any before.
"Just like I promised", she replied, stripping her bag off and setting it down before she settled into her customary spot near the pallet. "Well? Any better today?"