[He turned his face closer into her skin. Unable to demonstrate how badly he needed and welcomed her fingertips through his hair, unable to push himself up into it the way an animal might. Only able to moves his fingers in a similar pattern where they rested, one in the curve of her neck and shoulder, one in the soft skin of her forearm—over the imPort mark.
Are you monitoring somehow…? I don't care.
His breathing was steady. So it might just be sweat. But where he pressed his face to her skin, it was wet. From effort and emotion and release… and what she'd just said.
Because she meant it.
And he knew what she'd gone through.
She'd do it again for him.
What that meant to him was… too big to hold in his flesh. He wished he could ever have a prayer of exlaining or returning that feeling.
…But he didn't know if he was capable of thinking that way, back.
The decisions that most clawed and roared at him in any moment of silence The things that should never have been done or failed to be done The people that…
Jyn had been a convicted criminal for refusing to accept or abide by an unjust universe.
Cassian had never been convicted and was a criminal in any universe.
There are things he couldn't do again. (Even for Jyn…?) (Please please Yavá never make me find out.)
But more than that…
He could not credit… this
lying here with her, bodies shaking and breathing and interwound all of her open to him, flesh and mind able to be as open back
he couldn't conceive of… what came before as having led to this. If there was causality how could he accept If they were linked how could this transcend If…
…if nothing.
It didn't matter. It was thoughts.
And what he did feel was still an agreement.
Perhaps they were here in spite of everything else. That even all of it couldn't prevent this correctness in the cosmos. That they'd been brought here for existence to right itself and create whatever they had always been intended to be, in themselves and one another.
He can't think that way, but he feels the same.
So though it doesn't sound like it should follow, his whisper is indeed a direct response:]
[That TAG is lovely!!!]
Are you monitoring somehow…? I don't care.
His breathing was steady. So it might just be sweat. But where he pressed his face to her skin, it was wet. From effort and emotion and release… and what she'd just said.
Because she meant it.
And he knew what she'd gone through.
She'd do it again for him.
What that meant to him was… too big to hold in his flesh. He wished he could ever have a prayer of exlaining or returning that feeling.
…But he didn't know if he was capable of thinking that way, back.
The decisions that most clawed and roared at him in any moment of silence
The things that should never have been done or failed to be done
The people that…
Jyn had been a convicted criminal for refusing to accept or abide by an unjust universe.
Cassian had never been convicted and was a criminal in any universe.
There are things he couldn't do again.
(Even for Jyn…?)
(Please please Yavá never make me find out.)
But more than that…
He could not credit… this
lying here with her, bodies shaking and breathing and interwound
all of her open to him, flesh and mind
able to be as open back
he couldn't conceive of… what came before as having led to this.
If there was causality how could he accept
If they were linked how could this transcend
If…
…if nothing.
It didn't matter. It was thoughts.
And what he did feel was still an agreement.
Perhaps they were here in spite of everything else. That even all of it couldn't prevent this correctness in the cosmos. That they'd been brought here for existence to right itself and create whatever they had always been intended to be, in themselves and one another.
He can't think that way, but he feels the same.
So though it doesn't sound like it should follow, his whisper is indeed a direct response:]
I never believed in the Force before you.