been at five points about a week, maybe less. i don't know, time sort of blended together while i was there.
an hour after arriving, two guys tried to rob me. i felt the brush of a hand at the pocket at my hip; only had 100 credits to my name from the planet hopper i'd sold for scrap. grabbed the wrist. caldanian and gigoran, if i remember right.
ended up in an alley of sorts. trapped on both sides. caldanian charged first, i used my fingertips as a spear to jab his eye. then both charged me. swung my knife to try and gut them or scare them or .. anything. caldanian grabbed me by the neck and started squeezing. stabbed him in the arm. gigoran had a blaster that i went for, punched him in the face, slammed his arm and wrist against the ground until he dropped the blaster. they both ran. caldanian still had knife in his arm. it was the knife saw gave me when he left me on tamseye prime.
wanted revenge on them for what they'd done. maybe foolishly wanted my kriffing knife back, i don't know. probably came up with a thousand excuses as to why it was a good idea to find them, strike up a fight. only thing i felt was numb. so numb. probably wanted to feel something, anything, to distract myself from the black hole in my chest.
usually went to moeseffa's two hours pre-night shift change and stayed two hours after. looking for jobs, sizing up the gen pop. knew they'd be there at some point. ended up being the night i guess you followed me.
found them. instigtated argument. didn't take much; they remembered me when they saw me. felt the closest to alive i think i'd felt since i left skuhl as the punches started flying, but then.
stopped.
couldn't figure out what i was doing. dissociated probably. couldn't justify what i was doing; they were idiots, they were thieves, but getting revenge on them didn't make me better. didn't see the point. no family, no hadder, no akshaya, no saw, no mother or father, nothing. what was the point? i'd already been put into servitude by commander solange, who banned my scandocs from leaving five points, posted my picture to keep me from bolting.
didn't see much of anything by the time you intervened. couldn't see much of anything. figured you were going to finish what they'd already started and that seemed merciful enough. couldn't tell you were i lived because i didn't really live anywhere. rented a room from an old guy but didn't consider it 'home.' couldn't make heads or tails of where we were, how to get anywhere. i kept thinking of coruscant, lah'mu, wrea, skuhl. couldn't tell which one i was on.
i remember thinking i wanted to go home but had no idea what that even meant.
remember waking up the next morning, bit less swollen but still bruised all over. looked for you, but you were gone. tried to get your name from the guy downstairs but he wouldn't give it without paying, and i didn't have enough.
[private text 2/2]
an hour after arriving, two guys tried to rob me. i felt the brush of a hand at the pocket at my hip; only had 100 credits to my name from the planet hopper i'd sold for scrap. grabbed the wrist. caldanian and gigoran, if i remember right.
ended up in an alley of sorts. trapped on both sides. caldanian charged first, i used my fingertips as a spear to jab his eye. then both charged me. swung my knife to try and gut them or scare them or .. anything. caldanian grabbed me by the neck and started squeezing. stabbed him in the arm. gigoran had a blaster that i went for, punched him in the face, slammed his arm and wrist against the ground until he dropped the blaster. they both ran. caldanian still had knife in his arm. it was the knife saw gave me when he left me on tamseye prime.
wanted revenge on them for what they'd done. maybe foolishly wanted my kriffing knife back, i don't know. probably came up with a thousand excuses as to why it was a good idea to find them, strike up a fight. only thing i felt was numb. so numb. probably wanted to feel something, anything, to distract myself from the black hole in my chest.
usually went to moeseffa's two hours pre-night shift change and stayed two hours after. looking for jobs, sizing up the gen pop. knew they'd be there at some point. ended up being the night i guess you followed me.
found them. instigtated argument. didn't take much; they remembered me when they saw me. felt the closest to alive i think i'd felt since i left skuhl as the punches started flying, but then.
stopped.
couldn't figure out what i was doing. dissociated probably. couldn't justify what i was doing; they were idiots, they were thieves, but getting revenge on them didn't make me better. didn't see the point. no family, no hadder, no akshaya, no saw, no mother or father, nothing. what was the point? i'd already been put into servitude by commander solange, who banned my scandocs from leaving five points, posted my picture to keep me from bolting.
didn't see much of anything by the time you intervened. couldn't see much of anything. figured you were going to finish what they'd already started and that seemed merciful enough. couldn't tell you were i lived because i didn't really live anywhere. rented a room from an old guy but didn't consider it 'home.' couldn't make heads or tails of where we were, how to get anywhere. i kept thinking of coruscant, lah'mu, wrea, skuhl. couldn't tell which one i was on.
i remember thinking i wanted to go home but had no idea what that even meant.
remember waking up the next morning, bit less swollen but still bruised all over. looked for you, but you were gone. tried to get your name from the guy downstairs but he wouldn't give it without paying, and i didn't have enough.
i can't believe it was you.