Open RP Post

[candor1]

Comments

[shiningstardust]

Jumping to conclusions never led to anywhere good. And making assumptions was even worse.

She felt like she had been unnecessarily harsh, and while they had started all of this on a positive note, now she wasn't quite so sure. She felt like she had ruined everything.

Especially as he let his hand drop, and hid his eyes with the other, and the guilt started gnawing at her all the more hungrily. "I don't think I would have asked about that, but - I ... I'm grateful for your honesty. And ... I don't want you to feel uncomfortable being honest with me. So ... for the sake of transparency, you should know that I'm not sleeping with anyone. I never have - although many people have tried, whether it was with sweet-talk or attempted coercion. It's not that I didn't want to, it's just ... I didn't know who I could trust. So. Now you know."

[candor1]

He looked at her over his own hand, managing a smile.

Trust. It kept coming back to trust.

"That's well done." That she'd kept her own say in the matter. He'd given up his choices and comforts for it long ago.

"I've ruined the evening, a bit."

[shiningstardust]

Jyn shared her own, small but hopefully as reassuring as she meant for it to be.

She didn't like thinking about her own predicament, how lonely she had grown up feeling, how it still colored every interaction she had now. She especially didn't like to think about how forceful some of those people had been when it had come to 'courting' her - how forceful she had to be in return to dissuade them from continuing to try.

"You really haven't. Some things are ... harder to speak about than others. If you want, you can ask me something now, so we can try to get back on track."

[candor1]

He exhaled a more genuine laugh. "You're amazing. …All right…" Something he'd be able to answer, too, if turned back on him… "Favorite childhood toy?"

[shiningstardust]

Jyn didn't know about that, and her surprised huff of breath was probably enough clue about it. "You'll laugh, I think. It was a little stuffed tooka that Papa made for me. He made many of my toys when I was little. Now you."

[candor1]

"Most of the toys at Carida were" indoctrination "educational. But I had one that looked like a security droid that I'd confide in."

[shiningstardust]

Jyn hummed quietly, slowly letting the newfound tension drain and dissipate in order to relax as much as she could. "Kept all your secrets safe, did it? My cat did, too. Made me feel safe when I was scared."

[candor1]

"I wasn't looking for secret-keeping as much as... an advocate, I think. Someone to talk to my father on my behalf." A self-conscious smile. "Didn't really work, as you could guess. What was your cat's name?"

[shiningstardust]

"We all need someone to look out for us from time to time", she answered, shrugging gently. "Even if it didn't work, at least he tried. Oh, you'll definitely laugh now - I named it Tookie. That being said, I was little, and I realize that's not the most creative name."

[candor1]

He did laugh, at that. "Sorry… it's not bad at all, it just made me think of calling a tooka-cat 'Wookiee'."

[shiningstardust]

"It is bad, and you should say it - ", Jyn replied, laughing a little in response. "But I think you're on to something. We're definitely keeping Wookiee on the shortlist of names for our new addition."

[candor1]

As long as we don't offend an actual one. …No, he wouldn't say that; Wookiees had been slaves of the Empire, so their sympathies now were with the Alliance, and an Imperial wouldn't care what one thought.

(Much less have once freed three.)

"Should we make a list?"

[shiningstardust]

...

Jyn would've cared. Slavery was not exactly a practice that she condoned, even if she was part of the faction doing the enslaving. But hearing more and more stories of atrocities committed by people who thought they were somehow in the right was exactly what was turning toward what her uncle and so many others would consider the enemy.

"Now? Before we even meet our new little friend?"

[candor1]

"No," he conceded, "I guess not."

Lightly, perhaps tentatively, his hand brushed her back, again. "We could check the HoloNet. I've been falling behind on the news." Angry as it made him, it was good to keep up with what the Empire made common knowledge, and how it spun them.

[shiningstardust]

Talk about killing the mood.

But Jyn didn't deny the suggestion or even make one of her own. Instead, she sighed, and nodded her agreement. It wouldn't be relaxing, that's for sure, but it probably was important to know what was going on.

"Of course."

[candor1]

He answered her sigh with an apologetic smile. "Just for a while. Then we can switch to something easier."

[shiningstardust]

"It's not that I'm not interested - ", she started, absent-mindedly brushing her fingertips against his this time, almost without a second thought. "It's just that the news is always so dire, you know? There's never anything good to hear. Or at least ... the things they consider good, I ... don't."

Maybe that was a bit too honest, but once the words were spoken aloud, Jyn couldn't exactly take them back.

[candor1]

Something silenced him. Either the feel of her fingers finding his, or those words.

There was little he hated more in the universe. Being undercover, identifying someone ripe for recruitment, and having to leave them behind. The only thing worse: having to stay undercover by browbeating them back to Imperial loyalty.

He couldn't do that with Jyn. He wouldn't.

But…

His fingers curled slightly back around hers. And he said very softly,]

I… shouldn't respond to that.

[But he didn't say he disagreed or that she shouldn't have said it.]

[shiningstardust]

Jyn almost expected the silence - but was grateful for it, nonetheless. She could have received a lecture instead, a browbeating about doubting with the Empire was doing and the reasons why. She had almost expected it.

But instead she received the comforting contact of his fingers holding hers. And although the statement hadn't been the admission that he felt the same, the acknowledgement of how she felt was enough.

"I won't ask you to."

[candor1]

"Thanks." I'm sorry.

His fingers twined closer with hers, his thumb finding its familiar path along the back of her hand.

He cleared his throat and used his other hand to reach the controller. "Okay. A little more business, for just a bit. Then something funny."

He called up a news holo—one of the slightly less jingoistic ones—and settled his sabacc face in place to see and hear how they were covering the week's expansions and conquests. No Alliance bases discovered, though, as far as they reported.

[shiningstardust]

Jyn easily accepted the gentle, familiar touch. Familiar - how could it feel so familiar when they had really only known each other for a small handful of days, and were still well into the process of learning about each other?

"It's fine", she murmured, stretching her back before settling back against the cushions. "I'll probably fall asleep no matter what you put on. Those events are always so tiresome."

She watched the news quietly, and, as always, felt unimpressed by what was chosen to be reported, and the way the reports were skewed heavily to favor one side.

[candor1]

He let the holo go on as long as he could easily stand, satisfied at things not reported on as well as making mental notes of what was. But at last, he reclaimed the controller and flipped frequencies. What entertainment was shown was just as restricted and skewed as the news was reported but...

He paused on a holodrama that claimed to be set on Sullust. Many holodramas heavily romanticized Outer Rim planets, using them as opportunities for new adventures and encounters, leaving out the bits about struggling to survive or resist the Empire. He should share no details about his real past, even those that could be explained away; but he couldn't help but let his lips curl at how they were portraying Sullust. Nothing like the reality, of course.

"This okay?" he murmured—as he slipped his arm further around her and brought them closer together.

[shiningstardust]

Everything felt so ... monitored. Jyn wondered if there were more people like her, people who were starting to question the Empire machine. And if there were more people like her, what could they do about their suspicions, where could they go, if it came down to that?

Jyn was certainly thinking about it as Joreth changed the frequency from the news to something a little less disheartening and (supposedly) a little more entertaining. Still, she wasn't paying much attention to the holo more than she was in getting more comfortable as he urged her just a little bit closer.

"Mmhm. You're so warm."

[candor1]

His breath caught a bit. He froze, not wanting to pull away nor press in further before finding out— "Is that good?"

[shiningstardust]

"Very good", she confirmed, nodding slightly. "Comfortable. Means we probably won't need a blanket if we stay out here much longer."

A moment later, and far more quietly, Jyn offered -

"I like it."