Jyn found little rest during the course of the night.
She had spent a large part of it in a daze as she tried to put the pieces together and process all the things she had overheard. She sat in the corner of the shower and cried, her tears mingling with the hot, hot water that cascaded over her.
This wasn't exactly something that she could discuss with anyone - it wasn't as though she had friends that she could trust. Her mother was dead. Her father ... hadn't even come to the wedding as it was. The only person she had was Joreth - and he wasn't even real.
Cassian.
Stranger. Enemy. And perhaps the worst part of all was hearing him say that he thought he might love her ... because for a moment, Jyn was almost certain that she had been falling in love with him, too.
But that - all of it - had been real. She was just a means to an end in whatever mission he had been sent here to complete, a pawn for both sides, little more than collateral damage when all was said and done.
The bed felt so cold and lonely without him there with her. Jyn couldn't find a way to get comfortable no matter what she tried, and even Argi laid with her, purring like an engine, but she found little comfort in it, even as she petted him gently in thanks.
I don't know how I'm supposed to go back to the way things were before.
But if Cassian were a smart man, and if he was as compromised as he said he felt, his best course of action would be to go and never return.
Jyn caught little snatches of a sleep, minutes at a time, but always awoke to an empty bed and a heavy heart. The sun rose, and Jyn got up with it, haunting the apartment like a ghost as she took a personal day from her duties - she couldn't afford anyone seeing her like this, and she knew she'd never be able to pay attention to the tasks she'd have to attend to. She'd alert the wrong people, and now especially, the last thing they needed - if there was a they anymore - were suspicious eyes on them.
She went through the motions as she fed Argi and fixed breakfast, laughing a joyless laugh when she realized she'd fixed two plates. She left one at the table, and sat in the corner of the couch to try to get something in her stomach even though she was certain she'd be sick if she did.
When the door opened, Jyn didn't flinch or even look up. She couldn't. She was too afraid of what he'd see in her expression or her eyes if she did. Why did he come back? He shouldn't have come back.
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She had spent a large part of it in a daze as she tried to put the pieces together and process all the things she had overheard. She sat in the corner of the shower and cried, her tears mingling with the hot, hot water that cascaded over her.
This wasn't exactly something that she could discuss with anyone - it wasn't as though she had friends that she could trust. Her mother was dead. Her father ... hadn't even come to the wedding as it was. The only person she had was Joreth - and he wasn't even real.
Cassian.
Stranger. Enemy. And perhaps the worst part of all was hearing him say that he thought he might love her ... because for a moment, Jyn was almost certain that she had been falling in love with him, too.
But that - all of it - had been real. She was just a means to an end in whatever mission he had been sent here to complete, a pawn for both sides, little more than collateral damage when all was said and done.
The bed felt so cold and lonely without him there with her. Jyn couldn't find a way to get comfortable no matter what she tried, and even Argi laid with her, purring like an engine, but she found little comfort in it, even as she petted him gently in thanks.
I don't know how I'm supposed to go back to the way things were before.
But if Cassian were a smart man, and if he was as compromised as he said he felt, his best course of action would be to go and never return.
Jyn caught little snatches of a sleep, minutes at a time, but always awoke to an empty bed and a heavy heart. The sun rose, and Jyn got up with it, haunting the apartment like a ghost as she took a personal day from her duties - she couldn't afford anyone seeing her like this, and she knew she'd never be able to pay attention to the tasks she'd have to attend to. She'd alert the wrong people, and now especially, the last thing they needed - if there was a they anymore - were suspicious eyes on them.
She went through the motions as she fed Argi and fixed breakfast, laughing a joyless laugh when she realized she'd fixed two plates. She left one at the table, and sat in the corner of the couch to try to get something in her stomach even though she was certain she'd be sick if she did.
When the door opened, Jyn didn't flinch or even look up. She couldn't. She was too afraid of what he'd see in her expression or her eyes if she did. Why did he come back? He shouldn't have come back.